Bush Orders Anti-War Americans To Wear Yellow Stars
WASHINGTON - President Bush today passed an emergency decree to force Americans opposed to the impending war with Iraq to wear yellow stars. The new law passed in response to the arrests of Roger and Stephen Downs was a direct attempt by the President to "flush out the yellow anti-war cowards."
"The President has been considering a move to highlight those citizens with anti-patriotic views for some time." Spokesman Ari Fleischer told us. "You see these yellow-backs going to work every day. They are construction workers, teachers, managers, they could be anybody and yet they harbour dangerous anti-American views. It is time we showed them for who they really are. There is no hiding place for this scum now. Who do these men think they are strolling through a shopping mall with offensive statements on their t-shirts?"
The new law, effective from tomorrow in parallel with a similar move in the UK will be implemented following a simple door-to-door question poll. Each American will be asked to respond with a "Yes" or "No" to one simple, balanced question. Although Bush administration has refused to release the full details of the "Friend or Foe" question, leaked documents today suggest it will be as follows:
"Do you think we should bomb the shit out of Iraq and pay for our efforts by taking control of Iraq's oil fields for the good of the Iraqi people?"
Although refusing to confirm or deny the contents of the question, the President reiterated the importance of all Americans adopting a common stance.
"We need to find those who are abusing our freedom of speech laws to further their own agenda and ensure that our loyal, God-fearing citizens know who are the rats in their communities. So they want little message of 'peace' on their t-shirts? Well now we will all now where they stand." The President said, spitting on the ground.
"It is an insult to call these people American." The President continued. "The yellow star will highlight their cowardice and how they betray the stars and stripes of this mighty nation. These people make me sick. They are not worthy of free expression. Freedom of speech was never intended to become a tool to undermine the government."
Civil Liberties groups refused to comment on the new law but promised to share their full anger once they had finished dealing with the arson attacks on their offices across the U.S.
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