|Current music:||No Rain - Blind Melon|
Sad and Lonely.
I am in the worst mood ever. I just feel so shitty. I feel like I need to get out of this place. All my friends hate me and I know it. They treat me like I'm not there. They wish I wasn't there. I just don't think there is a place for me in this world. I'm always in the way. No one ever wants to tell me something important, it's always someone else who is standing beside me. I can't find anyone who actually ecknowledges(spelling?) in school. I have been bumped into, doors pushed into me, people just not caring. Why did God even put me on the earth. If everything happens for a reason, What the fuck is the reason for me even existing. I don't want to be. No one wants me to be here. I'm just some person that was tossed here for people's amusment. I hate being the person that everyone doesn't like. It hurts when your best friends treat you like dirt. I feel terribly unwanted. I know if I were to die tonight that no one would terribly miss me. They would be shocked and that's about it. I think about this too much. I need to think about something that I could be happy about... nothing. I can't be happy. I have a shitty life. I can't help not to cry myself to sleep everynight. For every person that actually likes me about 25 other people have to put me down. I wish I could tell people how I'm feeling but I can't. I feel so stupid all the time. I feel so ugly. Everyone is so pretty and I'm a -1000 out of 10. My self-esteem is totally gone. Pretty much if people actually start telling me to fuck off, I won't be able to take it and I'll explode. I'm such a moron...fuck!