|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Morning Report With Mark & Steve, WOC AM 1420|
It's Sir Paul's Birthday, You Bastards
I want to kick off this birthday celebration by making a brief comment on a letter I read the other day in Ann Landers column...Or maybe it was Abby and either way, it doesn't matter because one of them is dead and the other one is senile and neither does her own writing anymore and still, the letters and responses in both are the same as they always have been and though it really doesn't pertain to today's discussion---Or maybe it does---, to make you trivia and gossip buffs happy I'm going to throw in the fact that they are twin sisters and they hated each other...which illustrated the pain and suffering of a parent who has kids that don't appreciate her.
And to that mother and all the others with the same problem...Which I know is common because I hear about it all the time and read about it all the time in advice columns...I just want to say: What were you thinking? That subjecting someone to life here would somehow turn out good? And that that person would be grateful for it? What exactly have you been smoking?
Life is not a gift. It's a horrible burden. So stop whining and crying about the huge sadistic and annoying mistake you made and start trying to make things right. Which you can't do but you could at least make an effort instead of pretending that you're the victim.
OK, now that the cheery feel good portion of this post is over let's move onto the other cheery feel good part which is Sir Paul McCartney's birthday and how the idiots at The Today Show ruined the whole thing with their list of choices for your favorite Sir Paul McCartney Song (http://todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/06/18/12238775-happy-70th-birthday-paul-mccartney?lite).
You don't need me to tell you that his best song is not on the list but I'm going to tell you anyway because I have a lot of space to fill up here and a pushy agent who is hung up on the length equals money equation. And if you're a purist, which I can dig because this sort of thing bothers me too, you've already noticed that the first four selections should not be on the list because they are Beatle songs, just like number six.
Not that there's anything wrong with The Beatles, quite the opposite in fact, it's just that it's they are a whole other thing that should be on a separate list. Look, you wouldn't ask people to rank Larry David's writing without first separating the Seinfeld scripts from the Curb Your Enthusiasm, SNL, Fridays and Sour Grapes material---which is all quite good but not quite as quite good as the work he did on Seinfeld---, would you?
Of course you wouldn't. Which is also why you wouldn't mix Sir Paul's solo work into The Beatles work. Unless you were raised in the woods by an ill mannered pack of wild uncivilized devil worshiping illiterate communists. And got your journalism degree out of a box of Cracker Jacks.
But I can tell that you aren't like that at all because your good breeding is showing. Next time, wear a long coat and you won't have that problem. Now that I've fixed your fashion problems let's get to what we came here for which is the best song Sir Paul ever wrote which is called C-Moon and you can see and hear here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XooX6WA3F-c.
That, of course, is his best ever solo effort---Which is closely followed by a huge list of songs that's far big to name, much less rank in any kind of coherent order but if I did have time to throw out some titles, they'd probably include Hi Hi Hi, Maybe I'm Amazed, Here Today and Let Me Roll It.
And on The Beatles side of the ledger, ahead of the choices given by the ill mannered pack of wild uncivilized devil worshiping illiterate communists who got their journalism degrees out of a box of Cracker Jacks---Which were all good, by the way but that's not saying much because it's like they were invited to Rachael Ray's house for dinner and Emeril was assisting in the kitchen and then they were asked to pick out some good choices from the menu...Yeah, pretty much anyone could have done a fairly decent job of it...I'm Down (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBBHcCRrh04) should be at the top of the list.
Now that all that's out of the way, let's forget about music and get back to the cake and ice cream. And this, the cocktail that my Sommelier, Fifi, invented for the occasion:
Get Laid Back
3/4 oz Raspberry liqueur
1 oz Vodka
6 oz Pineapple juice
1 splash Cranberry juice
Mix Raspberry liqueur, vodka, and pineapple juice in the mixer, shake, strain, pour into glass, then add splash of cranberry juice.
OK, if that doesn't please please you, move over, busker, take your barrow back to the marketplace and get ready for a lot more lonely nights because I'm looking through you and you're nowhere.