|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Morning Report With Mark & Steve, WOC AM 1420|
I'm so glad that Decoration Day is over. Oh, I guess you kids call it Memorial Day these days---Wait, I just got a memo from my staff Historian, Aurora Plutarch, and according to her, you've been calling it Memorial Day since 1967 and she says that's been enough days for anyone, even me, to adjust, get with the program and let go of the past and I don't think I like her tone but the fact remains that it's a good thing Decoration Day is over because if I hear Taps one more time, I'm going to die.
I don't mind the beer and brats and hamburgers and I especially don't mind it being the official start of bikini season but the music leaves much to be desired. Why can't we just be glad that all these people escaped this horrible world by protecting an idea of liberty that never actually existed in the first place without ruining the whole thing without constantly playing a horribly depressing song all weekend and feel sorry for the real victims, the ones who didn't die in all those stupid wars and then had to live with the insulting insincere bumper sticker caliber, "Thank you for your service," while having to fight for the things they'd been promised and then...
Hold on again. Aurora just came in to apologize. That's a nice change of pace and she even gave me a gift. A brand new iPod. Oh, I guess I should explain what an iPod is. It's a little portable 8-Track tape player---only it doesn't use 8-Tracks. Actually, it's a little hard to explain so I'll let you Google it yourself but I will say that this gizmo is cool. It holds 40,003 songs and....all of them are Taps.
Wow, I didn't know that Herb Alpert did a cover of Taps but that doesn't change anything. Bad Attitude, Herb Alpert or no Herb Alpert, thy name is Aurora. She is one step away from being permanently reassigned to the Lingerie Modeling Department. I would say that I like being able to demote people but I can't because Mitt's lawyers say that's too close to, "I like being able to fire people," and he's been testy enough lately as it is.
Especially since 5 Wives Vodka announced that they might try to convince Idaho that the brand really isn't offensive by putting his picture on the bottle. Personally, I think putting Newt on the label would be more appropriate even though he's not technically Mormon but no one ever listens to me.
That's probably why I enjoy demoting them so much but if Mitt asks, you didn't hear that from me. What you did hear from me, which you won't even believe because I don't say it very often, is, "I wish I had been in Berlin last night at the Bruce Springsteen concert."
Because I would rather have an iPod with 40,003 versions of Taps on it than one with one Bruce Springsteen song on it---But if Aurora asks, you didn't hear that from me---but his politics rock. And last night they really rocked because he really laid into the people who caused this mess we are in (http://entertainment.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/30/11972974-springsteen-slams-greedy-bankers-during-concert?lite).
And he did it all without blaming the victims. In German, no less. Everyone is talking about how nice it would be if Bill and Barack would find enough time in their schedules to make it to Wisconsin before next Tuesday's election and they would be good but I think it would be just as good if Bruce would do some major rearranging and do concerts in Madison and Milwaukee this weekend.
Ah, if people would just start listening to me. Well, if you'll excuse me now, I have to go figure out how to erase an iPod.