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Greg (xander6464) wrote,
@ 2012-04-24 05:53:00
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    Current mood: depressed
    Current music:Morning Report With Mark & Steve, WOC AM 1420

    Oh My God! They Didn't Kill Kenny, You Bastards!
    I'm quite aware, thanks to the well intentioned and not at all irritating constant griping of my agent, Drusilla and Editor-In-Chief, Style Manual, of the fact that I may or may not be one or two episodes behind in my weekly reviews of Californication, Shameless and American Pickers and I might even be one episode behind in Boardwalk Empire and the whole thing is further complicated by Nurse Jackie and The Big C starting their new seasons, neither one of which have I gotten to yet along with my desire to start doing Girls and Veep and well, the details are unimportant, just suffice it to say that Dru and Style are wrong (And do they ever give me any credit for never being even one second late with Today's Random Coast Notes? NO!) and even if they were to be right for the first time ever, it wouldn't matter because I'm not making matters even worse by starting a weekly review of Eastbound and Down (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastbound_%26_Down).

    In the first place, how could I? Even if I wanted to? The series is over. They just aired the series finale. And all I want to say is that they didn't kill Kenny. Even though they pretended to and then didn't offer any explanation as to how Kenny faked that wreck and then managed to convince the coroner that his body was in the car...even after all that fire, wouldn't there be some human remains?

    The only other only thing I want to say about it is that I think the whole episode was a tribute to Mr. Etch A Sketch, Mitt Romney. Because it sure seems like they filmed the crash, intending it to be the last scene of the series and then reconsidered, did a little rearranging and tacked on the whole, "We were just kidding, he's really alive!" ending and it's just the sort of thing Mitt does every single day.

    Yeah, I know, all politicians, even the good ones, lie and break promises...Except for Jimmy Carter, who not only was a great President but was one of the very few honest ones and even he broke one promise, the one where he promised to disclose everything he learned about how much the government knows about UFO's and he paid a huge price for his nearly perfect honesty...but Mitt has taken it to a new level.

    A new level so high and far beyond where any dishonest politician has gone before that he's even bragging about it. He's not Mitt Romney anymore, he's Etch A Sketch Man, Americas newest superhero. And his super power is to openly admit that absolutely everything he says is a lie and still maintain the full support of way too many idiots.

    One poll (One of the very few that he's winning) is even showing that more Americans think he's better capable of fixing the economy than President Obama. By killing the poor by increasing the more deadly variety's of poverty and probing their vaginas on the side for fun.

    The funny part is that we all agree that we do have a menacing surplus of under-employed slave labor that needs to be trimmed and probing vaginas is a great way to kill time. The difference between us (The Democrats and Republicans) is that they, the Republicans, want to solve the problem by exterminating the poor (While pretending that unemployment combined with not having healthcare is the fault of the unemployed and uninsured) and making sure that no vagina goes unprobed thanks to government mandates (While loudly complaining about how the Liberals want to micromanage your life) while we, the Democrats, think that poverty should be cured by making sure that everyone who wants to work can and that vaginas should only be voluntarily probed the old fashioned way, following dinner and a movie and if necessary, for those stubborn cases, flowers, dancing and a weekend in Cancun.

    With birth control. Even though the pill kills women and babies, harms the environment, makes gas prices go up and causes curvature of the spine, and, worse of all, frightens the job creators (Who are doing a bang-up job with the job creating, aren't they?) as our Republican friends tell us it does...And why would they lie about something like that?...because we're willing to risk it.

    I'm waiting for Mitt to say that he hates birth control because it reduces the number of poor people he can kill, 50% or so of whom have vaginas that he wants to probe before they die. And then for him to say, a few hours later, in front of a different audience, "I love poor people! I want to save them by making them rich." And then for his handlers to say, "It was just another Etch A Sketch moment."

    Don't worry. Just trust us to tell you what you want to hear and then do whatever we want. That's the Republican message. And just like the producers of Eastbound And Down (Did you find it difficult to watch it without constantly thinking about Jerry Reed and wondering how they could have made Eastbound And Down---http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHZJej98_T0---, the theme? I did) they will do whatever it takes, up to and including staging a fatal car wreck, only to have Kenny show up a few hours later unharmed.

    I just hope that very few Americans fall for it beyond the crazy religious cult members and Ted Nugent fans that they already have and that the rest of us realize that we have a long way to go and a short time to get there and the only way to get the beer to the thirsty boys in Atlanta is to vote for Barrack.



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