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Greg (xander6464) wrote,
@ 2012-04-13 07:42:00
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    Current mood: depressed
    Current music:Morning Report With Mark & Steve, WOC AM 1420

    It's Friday The Thirteenth, You Bastards
    I know it's still kind of early, there's lots of time left and the wussy's that run North Korea could still make this the best Friday The Thirteenth ever by starting World War III but I'm worried that they won't. I'm equally worried that if they do, it will prompt Rachel Maddow to drop her interview with Bill Maher tonight to do a lot of boring war coverage. And then it's equally probable that that Bill and HBO will use the war as an excuse to preempt Bill's show tonight or drop his planned show and have him do a lot of boring war coverage.

    As far as I can see, there is just no good outcome to this any way it turns out, just unsatisfying second best alternatives that force you to conclude that you can't complain about your lack of the traditionally promised Friday The Thirteenth bad luck because you've had plenty of it.

    You know what? Forget about luck, both good and bad. It's irony that drives this holiday. Along with everything else in life. It's just like when your listening to Coast, like you were last night, and Damon Vickers tells you to forget about the future because it doesn't exist...Which is true...and then a few minutes later tells you to invest for the future because it's very important.

    And not one host or caller asks him how the future can be simultaneously nonexistent and unimportant and vitally important all at the same time. Probably because Michio Kaku has already explained this a million times...By saying, "We don't know how or why it is that one thing can be two different things at the same time in the same space but they can be."

    So what else were you expecting on Friday The Thirteenth? A drink? Good call. So let's wander over to the bar and see what Fifi, my Sommelier, has cooked up for tonight's Theme Drink:

    ----------------------------------

    Lucky Seven On The Thirteenth

    Ingredients:

    1/2 oz Vodka (Skyy)
    1/2 oz Amaretto
    1/2 oz Triple sec
    1/2 oz 151 proof rum (Bacardi)
    1/2 oz Jack Daniels
    1/2 oz Southern Comfort
    1/2 oz Sloe gin
    1 splash Cranberry juice
    1 splash Lime juice
    1 splash Orange juice

    Mixing instructions:

    Combine the seven liquors, straight, in a tall glass. Top it with three splashes of cranberry, lime, and orange juices. Usually drinks with this many ingredients taste like shit, but these go surprisingly well with each other. A Votre Sante!

    ----------------------------------

    It's no substitute for global thermonuclear war but I guess it will do until 8 PM tonight (Nine Eastern and Pacific) when Rachel tells us we're still mired in peace and 9 PM (Ten Eastern and Pacific) when Bill confirms it on his own show. And is there anything else to do but drink in the meantime? I can't think of anything but I am open to suggestions. Just make sure they're worthy of Friday The Thirteenth.



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