| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Coast To Coast AM---Tuesday November 3, 2009 |
The Only Thing I Want To Catch This Fall Is Catch 35
If you happen to see Elton Jim and/or What's His Name this afternoon and you tell them I sent you and then say, "The only thing I want to catch this fall is Catch 35," they will give you a huge gift certificate for Catch 35. I'm not sure know much it's for, $10 million maybe, $25 million, possibly, but I'm sure that it's enough to get you started at the bar.
And that's where I recommend you start and finish the evening. Don't even leave the bar. And skip dinner. Just have them roll the dessert cart up to your bar stool when you start to feel hungry. Yeah, it's partly because of that old piece of folk wisdom that goes, "Life is uncertain so eat dessert first," but it's also because it's been the kind of day that just demands that you don't dilute your alcohol, fat and sugar with anything even remotely resembling what any old unfun person calls real, wholesome or healthy.
Unless you want to stop and get a banana split on the way home, because you can slip the bananas, which are real, healthy and wholesome through a loophole if you request extra chocolate syrup and whipped cream. By then, the food referees should be too drunk to pay attention to what you're eating, anyway, but you can never be too careful.
And then tomorrow, maybe things will be...well, not better, because things never get better but maybe it will be a little less horrible than today was. This was yet another of those days that Uncle Bobby called a character builder. Without the snow. Bob usually, not always but usually, reserved the moniker, "Character Builder," for heat waves and blizzards but today qualifies.
The Democrats lost a couple of key elections and the Yankees might lose tonight or whenever it is they play again. And then Craig B. Hulet spent all morning reminding us just how sad infuriating this country is (That's always painful and depressing to listen to but it is necessary and Craig gets Coast Guest Of The Day).
Then there was all the other usual bad news, too, but it didn't end there. Because then I looked at the Quad City Times and discovered that my Number Two Favorite Local Writer, who I've been reading since around 1972, has cancer. Bill said he's going to beat it and I'm taking his word for it but it's still upsetting.
Upsetting enough to stay in the bar all night and eat at least one of everything on the dessert menu. Smoke all you want, too. Even though you have to go outside now and that's a huge pain in the neck, it's still worth it. It won't get you out of here any faster, though. If there were the slightest bit of truth in all those tobacco scare stories, I would have been gone a long time ago and wouldn't have had to go through this day or any of its' clones that came before it.
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