| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Coast To Coast AM---Sunday October 25, 2009 |
Thinking Funny Or Maybe it's Funny Thinking
"The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible."
-David M. Ogilvy
Thanks, Dave, but you really didn't need to tell me that because I'm always thinking funny. Even now, when I'm suffering with stage four inoperable terminal shoulder cancer. It's helping a lot that the pain is nearly completely gone now and my spirits are way up because I know this will be the time that I don't fall victim to yet another stupid miracle remission like I have every other time I've had a terminal disease and I will finally get out of here this time.
Hopefully by Halloween, because I want to go as a real ghost this year. I've got so many cool things planned and I wish I could tell you about them but I can't...just rest assured that you'll be more scared than you ever have been before..., because, while having a terminal illness is great, there is a downside to it and that is that it's really killing my schedule.
For example, this post was supposed to be done yesterday. I had millions of brilliant, witty and insightful things to say about the thinking funny quote. But I can't remember them, now. That's another downside to terminal illness, it does terrible things to your memory.
So let's talk about baseball and Coast To Coast AM, instead. And let's start with baseball. The Yankees are in the Series. Finally. After a million year long drought. And they better win. Or, I swear, right here on my deathbed...well, it's more like a deathdesk but if a few of you ladies would put on your nightgowns and hop up on it, it would be just like a bed. Or, if you sleep in the nude, that's OK, too. Don't think you have to get all dressed up for me....that I will never ever go to New York ever again for as long as I live. Even if I manage to live past Halloween!
No. Wait. That's a little harsh. Let's make that, I swear, right here on my deathbed which is really more of a deathdesk until some of you girls put on your PJ's or just take off everything, whichever you prefer, and sit on it, that if the Yanks don't win, I will never ever go to the Bronx again for as long as I live. Or until something is going on there that I want to attend. Whichever comes first.
That's much better because there's just no sense in punishing all the Boroughs for the sins of one. So, all you med school students out there should write this down: Terminal illness doesn't affect one's sense of fair play. Except when it comes to Coast To Coast.
And even that is a little debatable. See, the problem is that George Knapp should, by all rights, get Coast Host Of The Year for talking about Tom Robbins the other day but Ian screwed that up with his homage to War Of The Worlds and I'm just too tired to give duplicate awards.
Further complicating the matter is the big fancy award that I gave George for being the best part time host that technically takes him out of the running for Coast Host Of The Year. It was such a simple, airtight and logical system until George started talking about Tom.
And now, the only thing we can conclude is that George and Ian are both working for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy That's Out To Get Me. And I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that Suzette is involved somehow. Or, to be more accurate, what are you going to do now?
Don't get me wrong. I'd love to stick around and help you solve this unsolvable puzzle but my deathdesk is starting to look more and more like a deathbed now because it's being swarmed by nude and semi-nude women who are demanding to be entertained.
Just let me know what you come up with. And be quick about it because I don't have much time left...except for you ladies on my desk. I will make all the time you need.
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