| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Coast To Coast AM---Friday October 23, 2009 |
I'm Like Flypaper For The Emotionally Disturbed
Have the writers and producers of Californication read My Life As A Freak Magnet? My research suggests that the answer is yes. And that gives me a great idea for a blog challenge, well I guess it's more a question than a challenge but calling it a Blog Question wouldn't be nearly as exciting: What influences you and why and how does it show up in your work? And, even more fascinating is the next question: Have you ever discovered that someone in the past has copied your style before you were even born?
That has happened to me. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Hugh Hefner all patterned their lives after me. Come to think of it, Hank Moody did, too. But he did it after I was born and he added a kid and he's fictional. Close enough, though.
So that would be The Blog Challenge Du Jour if we had time for it but we don't so we'll just get right onto Zoso, which is this week's episode. First though, did you know that there's a Californication game on YouTube? I played it and discovered that YouTube is not a very good gaming platform. It's OK but still annoying in far too many respects.
I made it to Level Five before getting one wrong and I don't know how that happened. My best guess is that YouTube cheats. Anyway, I stopped playing at that point, so I don't know how it ends but I'm predicting that you don't get to see anyone naked since YouTube not only cheats but is also very uptight about nudity.
That's enough of Today's Game Report...oh, there's a Hank Haiku game on the web site, too, if you're interested...so let's move onto Jackie. Or, even better, let her move onto us, because she is one heck of a good lap dancer. Hank learned that as he was doing his job as a good teacher.
I still wish I had had a Prof like him when I was in college. I also wish I had had a roommate like Jackie. I wish I had a roommate like her right now, as a matter of fact. And an underling like Jill and a boss like Felicia. Well, Miss Big is a lot like Felicia but she isn't exactly lusting after me in a shameless, almost animalistic manner and that's a major problem.
She reminds me a lot of Ava Gardner. Sure, she married me but then it was like she had a headache every single night, just because she found out I was sleeping with a few dozen girls who weren't her...oh, wait a minute, that was Frank. I get me and him confused all the time but it's his fault because he based his life on mine. Anyway, Miss Big should start acting a lot more like Felicia and a lot less like Ava.
And what do you think of her one time only "Get Out Of Jail Free" card? Will it be just one time or will it be more like every time she passes GO? I'm betting on the latter (And that reminds me, I have to call my bookie, Shifty, The Norwegian before tomorrow, when the next episode airs). I predict that Hank will be like heroin to her and just once will be all it takes to get her hooked.
And that's going to bring Hank an endless stream of miserably unhappy complications. The bright side is that her husband, Dean Koons, will finally find out and try something stupid and Hank will have to beat him to a pulp. And he'll fell bad about it, because as he tells Charlie afterward, "Yeah, he did deserve to have the shit beat out of him but I beat the shit out of him for all the wrong reasons. There were so many good reasons and opportunities and I fucked it all up by waiting until he found that I was fucking his wife. It was the one time he had every right to be a dick and that's when I beat the shit out of him. That's why I feel bad."
I want to remind all of you in my religious conservative right wing base that it is Hank that uses all those words that just made your blood pressure spike, not me. Besides that, it was just a theoretical conversation from an upcoming episode that may never even take place, so just chill out already. And if you can't do that, at least write to Hank and tell him to watch his language, not me, because my language is fine.
I think that pretty much covers everything. Except for the three-way lesbian scene between Jill, Jackie and Felicia but that's not going to happen till Sweeps, so try to forget it for now. OH! One more thing needs to be said. If the people like George Noory who say there are no coincidences are right, Marcy intentionally but still unknowingly sabotaged the sale of their house in one of the most embarrassing ways imaginable.
Call me a hopeless romantic but I think that Charlie and Marcy are going to get back together. And I think that finally wraps up this one.
(Read comments)
|
