| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Coast To Coast AM---Wednesday October 21, 2009 |
IT OFFENDS MY VALUES!!!!
What offends my values? Just about everything. You name it and there's a 95% chance that my values will find it offensive. That's not really why I titled this one that, though. It's mostly because Barrack said it this morning and it just sounds too good to not use as a title.
Not that that made it worth having breakfast at the White House, though. Oh, the food is OK. This morning it was Egg McMuffins and these great cinnamon rolls...and I'm not big on cinnamon rolls but the ones at the White House are cool because they have the Presidential Seal embossed on them in frosting and caramel and cinnamon swirls and that just makes them taste better somehow.
The problem is beverages. It's like the bartender refuses to recognize anything but coffee, milk, tea, juice and Bloody Mary's prior to noon and getting a Pepsi Max is like pulling teeth. Suddenly, it's like talking to a New York cab driver. All you want is to get to JFK in time to catch your flight and all he wants to do is push coffee on you.
Well, the cab driver would try to talk you into adding $85 to your fare by driving by Ground Zero again but same difference. Either way, you're going to miss your flight and not get a Pepsi Max to boot. That's not entirely true but it may as well be. Because after a half hour of arguing, begging and pleading, the bartender will finally give you a Pepsi Max but then they make you sit at the kiddie table.
Sheesh! Call a guy, "Mr. President," just once and it goes straight to his head and he thinks he can push you around all he wants. But first, you have to watch Suzette smirk at the bartender and say, "Now you know what it feels like to be me." And then you learn everything that's going on in the first and fourth grades and ballet and soccer and that was great but then when you got to Istanbul, you realized that it would probably have been more useful to sit at the grown-up table and learn a little more about the terrorists with nuclear weapons.
Oh, don't worry about the terrorists. That mess was cleaned up. Mostly. I think. The important thing is that I finally got a Pepsi Max. And I learned my lesson. I am never ever going to another State Breakfast that's really a high level security meeting that turns out to be more of a grade school briefing because they make you sit at the kiddie table but you have to call it a State Breakfast so the press doesn't freak out and needlessly panic everyone with story after story about terrorists with nuclear bombs, because they offend my values!
Well, I might, the next time I need a cinnamon roll with the Presidential Seal embossed on it with frosting and caramel and cinnamon swirls. But I am leaving Suzette at home.
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