Damn, I’ve been gone for a while now. Crazy shit. Life is so hectic right now. There’s so many different things going on with my life at one moment. Some things I am thankful for, and some not so thankful. Well to catch you all up , ive been goin out with Chris since January 1st, 2004. Its like we started our life together on the start of a new year so its all new beginnings. Things between me and Chris are great and I love our relationship beyond belief. This is the first serious relationship I’ve been in and I truly hope we are together forever because he is such a great person and I cherish every aspect of his personality and being. When I’m with him, its amazing. Its love. In some other NOT so good news - I moved today. Not cool. But w/e it STILL hasn’t hit me. It wont until I wake up on Monday morning and go to my appointment at Monroe Township High School. Yea. Today was emotional as hell. I was a wreck. Actually, better than I expected myself to be since I didn’t really get to say goodbye to too many people since we had our last midterms and schedules are fucked up. I’ll get through this. I mean, I don’t have any other options than to make it through. There’s so much shit in my room. Its ridiculous cuz its not even all mine. My sister’s room isn’t finished so my room is basically used as storage for her shit. So my room wont be in order until her room is done. But w/e after that ill get my peace and quiet + finally unpack. Chris helped drive some shit to the house today . I thought that was sweet. He finally met my mom + step dad. HOLY SHIT, my mom is like in love with him. I swear, its crazy cuz she never likes anyone me or my sister are with. But she sat there and talked to him for a good half hour and he sucked up to her and shit and it was all good. He even offered to help finish my sisters room. He’s such a great person. I wish I was more like him. Anyway - back to the MOViNG situation :’[ .. I’m gonna miss soo many people like crazy. I’m gonna miss having crazy ass mother fucking times with jiLlian all the time. Its not gonna be like I can walk to her house all the time. And we can’t just call each other up every night in the summer to sneak out + we can’t really cover for each other when we get ourselves into some shit. Alyssa is definitely gonna be missed. We had some great times together and even more great inside jokes. We’re definitely illegal substance buddies for life. No matter what, I kno I can always depend on her, even if I were to move to the North Pole or something. Ohh wow - Kristen! Def def def. On that list also. God damn, we had so many late night talks online that would scare most ppl. We’re so retarded but I love it. She can always make me smile + I try to make her smile all the time + im pretty sure it works :D . I hope everything with her and Salvatore works out. Hehe. ((You’re so obvious with that shit! )) . Lizzy! - Oh JESUS. We have so many good memories from this year. Even thou we were friends back in 6th grade but some shit got in the way but BLURTY + sharing stories about Joey brought us back together. WOooptiE wOop. I’m so happy for her. She’s with tommy and everything is going good for her right now + I couldn’t ask for anything more. ((except me staying at Sayreville but w/e I can’t take back time and change the inevitable.)) I’m gonna miss talkin to her all the time + helping each other though those daily problems and shit. Another great girl is ANGiE. Another friend from 6th grade whose friendship with me got fucked up for a while. But we’re good now + I love it. I saw her in the hallway today and I said bye to her and she was on the verge of crying. Idk, it just got to me. I just had to walk away cuz I would have broke down right then and there. I’m def. Gonna miss my Boys too. Bart and I haven’t talked much since like a few weeks ago, but we talked it out and made up. I was about to cry when I saw him today . I just missed talking to him so much even thou it was just for a short period of time. I wish that didn’t happen cuz its just a few more weeks I could have spent with him. I mean, right now any moment counts. Dan is mad at me at the moment because we didn’t get to chill before I moved. Life has been so hectic lately that I don’t have time for myself and I give as much as I can. And if its not good enough then I apologize but at the moment I can barely handle my own life never the less try to make plans and everything. W/e I still love him no matter what because he’s been there for me thought a LOT. Ever since 7th grade. We def. Have some great talks. Great guy. I spoke to Mike today. He made me feel a lot better about this whole situation. He just pretty much told me that even thou we didn’t talk for a long time now , he’s still here for me. Especially when im on the edge of sanity. I wish things were better between us. Our conversations used to be so vibrant and fun and they’re just dry and tasteless now. At least me and him talked today and that makes me feel a LOT better about the way things are going. Much love forever. Those are basically the main ones, but theres like a million others. My life is in Sayreville and Im gonna miss anyone that’s ever affected it. BUT, my life in Sayreville is over and its time to have a new start. Mrs. Suminski helped me out a lot today. She just talked to me for a little while and told me about how when she moved to Florida she was crying the whole way there because she had to leave her life in NJ. 2 years later, she was moving back to NJ and was crying the whole way here cuz she had to leave her new life in FL. The Most important thing she told me is that “when one door closes, another one opens” and that “ Things happen for a reason, and you’re just not meant to be here in Sayreville and you’re meant to be in Monroe. Everything is gonna work out because its meant to be.” she almost made me cry. Its true. This is me starting a new chapter in my life and I know this will make me grow up. I know im gonna go thought some rough akward times but its not the end of the world. And I have great friends here and im sure ill make some great friends there. And in the end - things will work out the way they are planned . Mia also made me realize how much I was over reacting and just making everything 102934 times harder for myself. Thank God she was online today when I got on cuz I just desperately needed to talk to her since she just moved recently also. She made me realize that its not like im dying + I don’t live that far + I will be in Sayreville a LOT. Especially cuz of Chris <33. I will be able to have some “ me “ time to think things through. But after talking to my friends and shit - it makes me feel a lot better. I’ve met some amazing people in my life so far and now I have an opportunity to meet some more people like that. I’m so glad to have met the people I met because they’re the ones that have shaped my life and molded me into who I am today, and who I want to become tomorrow. Ahh. Thank god for computers and journals cuz I really needed to vent. Arite, im gonna go to sleep cuz it feels like weight has been lifted off my shoulders. ill update later
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