| Current mood: |  hungry |
| Current music: | the smashing pumpkins x "stand inside your love" |
farewell and goodnight.
I just thought i should write that Michael and I broke up.. for the last time. We hadn't talked for 2 days, and i finally told him that i couldn't take it anymore... and yeah, we both felt the same way.
I was so scared last night though, i had to call Natalie and talk to her about it.
I mean Michael was such a BIG part of my life for soooo long, and for me to lose feelings for him, was just really scary for me. Because.. it's all over. Who knows what will happen from here.
We decided to just be "good friends" though, which i'm very happy about. I need him in my life somehow, and i know that. I'm just hoping that i don't realize i still want him, and start missing him or something, but i doubt it will happen, because this is the first time that i actually stopped feeling strongly for him... and i don't know why it happened :( it's so WIERD. and i wish it wouldn't have happened.. AHHH. I wish i still LOVED HIM SOOOO MUCH.... but i don't. GRR. I just don't know what's going to happen from here, and i'm really scared about that for some reason. I'm used to always being hung up on him! lol. I mean i have been for like 9 or 10 months, and that's a LONG time to be hung up on someone, for it all to just end like THAT! hmm... :/. I'm jsut glad that we're gonna be good friends.. maybe we'll be better as just good friends.
But i know i will always love the person Michael is. He gave me something i will be FOREVER thankful for. The feeling of being able to "truly love someone".. and the feeling of someone really loving me back. What can i say?.. He was my "FIRST".. the first 'love' of my life. And you never forget the first. Thank you sooo much for that Michael. That's the greatest gift i could've gotten. :) For that, i will never forget him, and he will always be such a big part of my life. In a way, he changed the person i am... in a good way.
I'm sure i'll be writing a lot about that whole situation the next couple days, since this is gonna be hard and extremely weird for me.
Right now though, i'm waiting on Natalie's behind to get over here and pick me up.
YAYYYY, No more boredom today, THANK GOD!
She was supposed to go to the band thing with Jayde, but she said they got it mixed up, and it wasn't that or something.. i dono, then she asked me to stay the night. I'm surprised Jayde just didn't stay the night again.. lol.
" heart strung is your heart frayed and empty, cause it's hard luck, when noone understands your love. it's unsung, and i say.. goodnight, my love, to every hour in every day. goodnight, always, to all that's pure that's in your heart. " The Smashing Pumpkins x "Farewell and Goodnight" ... goodnight, always, Michael.
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