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Have you ever been in a situation where you later find out you completely had the wrong idea? It's so humiliating that you don't even know what to say. But at the same time it's hillarious because you know you always make fun of those people because it's actually a really funny thing...so you can see the humor in it, but you more or less are just laughing out of shock. Last night I found out that for the past seven weeks me and Paul have been going out, we haven't actually been "going out." He has never considered us to be together. I find this EXTREMELY weird, personally, but he thought it was very weird that I thought we were together. I guess I sort of just assume that when you spend like every day together and you tell someone you love them that you're sort of going out...maybe he sees that a little different. Also, I guess when I've said stuff to his roommate like "tell my robotic boyfriend to text me back" and don't get corrected on the gross misuse of the word "boyfriend", I just assume that I am correct in my line of thought. Or when his new business partner invites him and his "girlfriend" to Las Vegas to check out his business there, and nothing is corrected or talked about later, the assumption would be correct. Or not. I feel like someone just told me the sky is green. No one ever really talks about how the sky is blue, you just assume that everyone knows. Maybe a comment here and there is said like "wow, the sky looks sooo blue today!", and no one corrects you, so you continue thinking that the sky is blue. Then the next morning you wake up and look out the window to a glaringly obvious green sky. You hate the sun for showing off the green sky. You hate the clouds for parting and letting the green sky be shown. And most of all, you hate California for being so damn sunny. And why did everyone let you continue thinking the sky was blue all this time? Why didn't anyone take you aside and say "umm...Erica...the sky is actually green. You might want to rethink you life plan..." Apparently his roommates were wondering why I act like his girlfriend. I am personally wondering why he would buy some random girl he occassionally goes on dates with a toothbrush to keep at his house. Or why would he make plans to go on vacation with just some girl he is sort of dating? Or how about the fact that he talks in "we's"...as in "I wonder how long it would take us to make enough money for me to retire..." How can someone go for seven weeks thinking they're in a relationship while the other person is under the impression they aren't? Is it normal for me to be totally pissed right now? I really feel like I've been strung along. The funny thing is, is that he still wants to hang out with me. The reason he gets scared and backs off is because it's just assumed that we're going to hang out, and he wants to be able to ask me out. Which is slightly strange because he told me that he hates going on "official" dates. I'm ok with hanging out with him casually beacuse we always have a lot of fun together....but how am I supposed to just act normal after this? Maybe it's a good thing, and the fact that I pretty much can't get more embarassed will help me be more comfortable around him. What do I have to lose? Right now I'm pretty much starting my life over again in California since the last two months have been a total fraud....so I'm pretty much at square one. I have no friends...one best friend lives an hour away...the other best friend doesn't want me to call him (i have since deleted his number so i don't do anything stupid)...my roommate is a total enigma and more of a business partner...i work with a five year old boy...and i'm pretty sure my ward is actually a part of the reorganized church, not the regular mormon church. i bought a book on monday called "this is not the life i ordered" (as well as two books on why guys don't commit....) and i'm pretty sure that'll be my scripture for the next little bit. Post a comment in response: |
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