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Dishonest.Faith (wizardwolf) wrote,
@ 2004-11-23 01:37:00
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    I'm going to try this again now that I am in a better frame of mind. I was a mess last night.

    First i'm really mad at myself. I am bad at telephoning people and get so nervious and awkward before dailing i tend to say "I call them later" and then it seem to be weeks later. I'm sorry for this, but i should call the people i miss i'm sorry.

    Last night was one of those phone album nights where you look back in the pictures in your head thinking, "I wonder where he's at" "why didn't i keep in touch" " didn't he join the army." So of those people just had a wonderful presence to them and i miss them.

    I say the word love but i am just a fool i think. I never been romanticly, poeticly in love i think. but my heart still seems to get broken.

    I miss my writing. It was liberating for my dull life where i could created my own legend and mythos. When i could string pictures using broken lines of poetry. I used to be so creative months ago but now i can't even make two correct sentences together much less creative writing.

    SO enough of the old and in with the new.

    It's towards the end of the semester and it seems i didn't learn my lesson and i'm failing another internet class. The only thing that would save me is to get a B or A on the final to bring me up enough for a D. The rest of my classes i'm doing good and they are coming to an end soon. 2 more weeks of classes and 1 week of finals left.

    TV has become my enemy. All these shows are making me mad but i won't name them. And then there are shows that i'm drawn too much into forgetting everything else.

    All the lastest back i've bought are graphic novel, i read books with lots of pictures. And Coconut, i could use a book recogmendation but i'll call you to get that. I want to get lost in real books and not comics.

    I quit my job at the liberay for two reasons: 1. I lost heart in the job after a while because it became too easy. Yes, too easy. I all for easy money but i like to be a in work place my mind and skills can be activily used and not spending 2-3 hours of the day standing at the counter and zoning out. I haven't decided yet what type of job i'll be going after but with a year of customer service and office skills and number skills i should be able to find something.

    I hate the holidays. i'm so jealous of those families that can gather and have big things. My family we don't do that. we stay away from each other because all the BS comes up for every little thing. Fights break out and police get called and it's all a big mess. So we stay away from each other. Thanksgiving is going to be me and my mom at Hometown buffet. so much for warm holiday memories.

    I"m tired and it's nearly 2 am. Goodnight.


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