I'm tired of life. I get up everyday, go to work, get lunch, go to class come home and play games for hours to fill the blank time in my life. I'm pathetic, when i was with someone I had a need to talk with them and to plan things to do. I don't have that drive for myself. I've tired joining clubs but it was always the same, I had no belonging. And thats the story of my life.
I've never felt like i belong.
Never part of the world, just a extra tid bit snapped on at the end. My interest and random knowledge or so strange that i can't seem to find anyone like me. I thought i did once but it was too good to be true and now she'll bearly talk to me. 2nd chapter of the story, my past is littered with the corpses of fallen friends and memories. My trust for people was violently (emotionally) ripped from my heart. I've done so much to people from my past, i can't face them. I'm a bad person, a very bad person. Too bad the world is too blind to see it past my forced smiles.
I know one person...only one. That cares and maybe has some love for me but I don't want her to hate me like everyone before. Sad thought it's someone 3 states away and only knows me by e-mail and paper.
I wish i could disappear for a while, change who I am and return a hero. But i'm not ment to be hero, i'm not ment to be great. Just another corpse under the heals of life.
I wish i had someone to talk to, someone i could trust and be comfortible with..but comfort is hard to find at 12:30 am.
but i would call, i don't want to be someones burden..thats all i am it seems. i'm just a burden. I wish i was more.
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