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wistfulheart (wistfulheart) wrote,
@ 2003-03-17 16:50:00
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    Current mood: contemplative
    Current music:dishwalla somehwere in the middle

    by my side, wont you be by my side
    a brilliant highlighting of my naples trip mary posted. its wonderful. i shall post it on here in the next post :)

    new orleans:
    had a super time. went to bourbon street. saw matt k twice. yeah a yr ago last fri we ate together at cafe du monde. and i was there last friday eating the same err "french donuts" (i cant spell in binae whatever) and cafe au laut. and my mom said "youll never believe whos over there" well two tables over matt k was getting up about to leave. its amazing how wihtout speaking for a yr with one hug i wanted to cry. i wanted to tell him i understood. i want him to be happy that i forgive him and.. thousand of thoughts and longing to hold him and just comfort someone who needs no comforting anymore.

    ive decided all my boy troubles need to be worked out. i need to somehow say fuck it about matt middleton and try not to care so much. *how many times do i say that* i somehow need to do something about that matt h situation. and still maintain some coolness. should i just say "i like you, but im really looking for something more..something more you dont appear to be willing to give me." or what. i talked to him last night. a downward spiral i might say. i keep flashing back to memories. memories of everything. what to do about matt h.... i remember passing him in his black blazer on sunday. i would be leaving he would be headed the opposite way. he always looked cool and calm. he says the perfect things at the perfect time.

    I was out the other day
    and I saw you in your big black car
    and I was waving as you were passing
    cause I know who you are
    you had this look that of an angel
    it was such a bad disguise
    did you think for second I would not realize

    tripping hard falling down onto the ground
    cause I can't stand up
    and I can't fall down
    cause I'm somewhere in the middle of this

    it was late and I was lonely
    and you didn't even blink
    you had this look that of an angel
    it was such a bad disguise
    when you drink it makes you angry
    when I drink I want you more and more and more

    tripping hard falling down onto the ground
    cause I can't stand up
    and I can't fall down
    and I'm somewhere in the middle of this

    well I find it hard
    I always tried to find the sane life
    but I don't like the way things are
    and I keep falling to my knees
    somewhere in the middle of this

    i also talked to that mike/alex boy last night. he is often called boston boy. it was nice. hes such a flirt. (ie. me "hello" mike "heyhey cutie") in the midst of the conversation he was like yeah i kissed that girl from texas. it kinna made me feel uncomfortable for the rest of the converstation but its all in good fun right?

    Your dreams can never be bought
    I couldn't help you then and I guess I can't help you now
    When jousting is for pleasure
    Pleasure is way out of hand
    The time is right for getting out while we still can

    i miss summer. i miss old friends. i miss you

    kathryns birthday is saturday. ive started my scheming.

    talked to hunter last night. after it all it hurts. it hurts when we are "together" when we arent. not knowing what to do..knowing hes leaving next yr. everything changing and still staying the same for the worst.
    Calls him every day,
    He took a kind of vacation,
    Was heading for something,
    Won’t leave her alone,
    Twice in every way,
    They lead a life you could forget now,
    It wouldn’t be the last time,
    It better be the first time.

    So she won’t sleep better alone,
    And he won’t sleep better alone,
    No they won’t feel better alone.

    *A star up in the sky goes slowly passing by,
    The lights below...they spell out your name.
    You're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time.
    And lot's of feeling that I can't explain.

    I won't spend another night alone.

    Out of every guy I meet, no other can compete
    I'd ditch em all for a night with you.
    I know you don't believe you mean this much to me
    But I promise you that you do.

    yea long post. prolly another one coming up and ocourse marys. peace.

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