 | Massive Armored Fighting Mecha Wing Gundam Zero Z2 ( wingzeroz2) wrote,
@ 2007-12-30 00:31:00 |
| Current mood: |  frustrated |
| Current music: | Scooter - Fire |
What dreams may come...
So, I had a bad dream last night. Not bad as in scary or nightmare, more like unsettling in a way. Though it wasn't distrubing while I was in it; that part settled in after I sat and remembered it and had a chance to think it over.
Well, it wasn't ALL of the dream, just the most vivid part I can recall. Which is enough (and lately I can only recall piecemeal bits of my dreams anyway, if I remember them at all). The description follows. And it's kind of...well, graphic. If you don't think you can handle it (or REALLY don't want to know) then stop reading now.
I was with a girl, can't recall age, but close to mine. I also can't recall what she looked like, but she was attractive, to say the least. We were making out in a bathroom, I think. Or some room with a counter and there was a mirror behind her. She was sitting on the counter and I was standing. Her legs were wrapped around me and she was grinding against me. After a little while of this, I got her skirt and panties off and was getting ready to go down on her. She asked me, "What will your girflriend think about this?" I paused, and then said, "I'll tell her sometime later. Or just not." And proceeded to get to work. Then there was other stuff I can't recall and I woke up a while after.
The thing that bugs me most about this dream was the fact that I was being intimate with another girl and for some reason, was going to keep it secret from my grilfriend. In other words - I was cheating. And when I sat back and went over the dream, I was rather pissed at myself. The fact that the thought was in my head was enough for me to get kind of upset. I love Jen more than anything, miss her like hell, too. And it kind of hurt that thee was any part of me that could think that. My thoughts on it are A.) On some level I kNEW it was a dream; and/or B.) I was under the influence of a lower part of my brain functions at that point in the dream. We'll just say I miss my girlfriend for a myriad of reasons and soem of those reasons decided to shanghai part of my REM sleep and leave it at that.
But yea, just REALLY bothered me. Because I know I would NEVER actually DO that. Rather drive a truck full of nitro through a course of speed bumps doing sixty while covered in fire ants than hurt her.
...
Well, okay, maybe not the fire ants. But still.
Um...any thoughts or comments (hopefully of a comforting or positive nature) would be greatly appreciated. ^_^;
Ja ne, minna-san.
~Zero, out (of money, but time's not too bad.)
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