|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Dispatch- Who are we living for|
well... hmmm interesting day yesterday. it was absolutly aweful. everything that could go wrong went wrong. and it was monday... that as itself is aweful. my day started out by me not being able to get up for my classes. i went to philosophy that was it. then came back tried to clean my room and do laudry and unpack and unpack.. but everyone kept talking to me even when i had my away sign on... i shoulda jsut signed off. i mean i'd respond to someones message and they thought i was gonna sit and talk to them or something. it was so annoying. then my mom wanted me to talk to heer and she kept bringing past shit up about how she was so young and didnt have a life because of me and my sister and that shes glad that i get to have a life. blah blah blah. then i finally got off that conversation and tried to finish doing laundry and kel walks in and tells me of how shes not going to be here next year. i was so god damn pissed off. still am. it just bothers me of how we were talkin about living together this summer and next year. and now shes not even gonna be here. she obviously knew awhile ago when she applied that she might get accepted and she didnt even tell me. the main reason i wasn't going to colorado is because of that girl. now i;m never gonna see her again anyways... and its too late for me to apply anywhere in colorado. she doesnt even think abotu how much her life here is going to be affected by her decision. i'm tryin to be supportive, but i just cant. shes just dropping everything she has here to go back home. i dont have any money and wont have money to ever go see her. it kills me to know i'm prolly never gonna see her again. she was one person i was close to. even though she doesnt understand what i went through, we both understood how much each other was hurt by our past and that mutual understanding is not common among most friends. anyways ... enough about people leaving me... then talked to my buddy nate... that was kewl but we just started talking bout shit and he really got me thinking about things and decisions i make. it got me pretty worked up cuz i know hes right. then my mom starts talking to me again about stupid family problems. god she doesnt know when to stop. couldnt talk to my sister because i was crying so much and missed her and my other brothers and sisters niece and nephew. and abotu where i;m going to stay this summer. so pretty aweful day. today has been ok.. missed a class.. took a mid term.. and took a shower so i feel better. thats about it. well write more later... see how the rest of my day ends up.. thank god its almost spring break... o thats right i have surgery then... fuck.