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It's pretty late for a school night, even by my standards. But there was a hell of a lot of good television on tonight. Really, it began when I was over Beth's house. There was a documentary on the History Channel about the North Hollywood Shootout, which actually took place only a couple blocks from her uncle's house. This program was so good I watched it again at 1 o'clock in the morning. You simply can't miss Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Then, at two o'clock, the epic marijuana-inspired "Rolling Kansas" came on Comedy Central. Myself, being a bit of an insomniac and fueled by some late-night coffee, absolutely had to indulge. Technically, the movie isn't over until four... but I wanted to update my journal before finally retiring. Afterall, I do have class in five hours. I got a new job working at Dollar General, conveniently located four houses down from me. The job will only last through the summer, as I am preparing for the police academy next fall. Upon completion, I'll have an Associate's degree and will be well on my way to finishing my education. The Dollar General job should be fantastic. They close at nine o'clock at night... that's beautiful. Especially when considering I would sometimes get out of BW-3 at two in the morning. Pretty much all of my money is going directly to pay off the academy, which has just about been the case since school began. I really appreciate all that my parents have done for me, both financially and otherwise. Without them, I'm sure I wouldn't be in as good of shape. That certainly deserves mentioning. I also want to say how much I love my girlfriend, Beth. She is beautiful and sweet, and I think we're doing very good together. We have been an item for over three years, and I think we have grown together. I would lay money that she would echoe the same sentiments. I've been trying to do a lot of exercise and dieting lately; these are two things that I rarely do simultaneously. The point is that I am trying to devote as much time and energy to succeeding at the academy. I really did need to get on some kind of a program, because I let my weight get a little out of hand. Last summer, I was in great condition but a chain of events unfolded that probably led me to be in the worst shape of my life. I have made vast improvements and am feeling much better about myself. The running program myself and some friends have implemented has been going strong. We are expected to pass certain difficult physical tests, and the only way to do that is to work hard and maintain focus. Afterall, we all need things to stay focused on. One thing that I have noticed is that some time ago, I had difficulty focusing. I had a hard time putting my actions together with their consequences. I didn't really feel like putting effort into anything, because the benefits seemed very far away. I was battling a case of depression and seeking help was the best decision I could have made. I have discussed this scenario before here. I was never a big fan of pills. Happy pills. It all seemed a little too Orwellian to me. How could a pill make you genuinely happy; at best, it could probably only make you think you were happy. I was wrong... but it took some time to see that. I was convinced by my doctor that depression is a legitimate medical problem. And it's a lot more common than I had understood. There are chemical imbalances within the brain that can get out of whack. If the flow of these chemicals is altered, they will send different signals to the brain. Your body produces a certain amount of seratonin, and it needs to be distributed consistently and evenly. The problem was this distribution was neither consistent nor even. I took the medicine for six months, and noticed nearly immediate results. I didn't feel like a different person, so to speak. Originally, I thought maybe I'd feel uncomfortable or lose traits of my personality. But as I took the medicine I began to notice that I was no less coherent, and less easily stressed. The real success story is not what the medicine does while you take it, in my opinion. The real test is what happens when you are done with the prescription. I am happy to report that I have not had to take the medicine again, and that I see several positive changes in my attitude. Not that I was ever a severe problem, I want to get that straight. I guess that our trials and tribulations can really make us stronger. The best thing that we can do is wake up in the morning and try to make our lives better. The truly commendable ones wake up in the morning and don't intend to make others' lives worse. Nobody likes a dickhead driver, an ignorant customer, or a pompous jackass. If you can't treat people well, at least don't mistreat them. King Kong was released on video today. Just felt like that merited mentioning. I can't wait until the movie about the assassination of Robert Kennedy comes out... he is easily my favorite historical figure ever. Well, that's about it for tonight. This will probably go down as one of the more serious entries I have written. It must be that kind of night. Goodnight, and good luck. Post a comment in response: |
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