| Current mood: | depressed |
| Current music: | Funeral For A Friend - Juno |
Frailty, thy name is Alex
Maybe i do have depression. I went to the doctor's on tuesday because i suspect i have ADD, no kidding He told me that from what i was telling him about how i forget things easily and am easily distracted that i was probably either ADD or had clinical depression I suppose that it's possible I've never been the very cheery one as much i've tried in the past who knows i just hope i don't have to take meds that will give me little bitchy mood swings like Maury I wonder what's become of that guy so yeah, i'm scheduled for a neurologist appointment on wednesday Guess i'm not going to school yet another day Oh well, i enjoy the time off Who wouldn't?
Sometimes i think of myself and i feel sick. I'll quickly think of something else or else I fear I'll have to run to the bathroom.
Today I DO feel depressed and the hell if i know why that is It was early release and we went to the beach I think now i have a slight pigmentation to my skin lol It was fun for the most part We hung out a while Got sand in our hair Had some really good sundaes And then went home Helen's house that is I passed out on her bed for like 2 hours I was so damn tired.
Maybe that's why i'm so depressed today. I'm frail and weak. I've had no sleep this week.
Right now, I feel that if i knew the end of the world was coming I'd goto bed and not get up Why well, there's no reason that's the worst part maybe it's tad bits of everything I wanna do this one-act so badly I want my friends to go see it I want to hear "that was a great piece Alex" I want to finish Our Town already I never wanted to start it really I want Drama Banquet to go well I don't want to say my goodbyes what if i say something wrong there's only one goodbye I don't want graduation to come I'm not prepared to not wake up dead tired every morning, but seeing the people I love once i get school Oh man, I'm gonna miss school so much.
I'm a cynic. I always was. I'll probably always will be. My eyes sting with exhaustion and swell with agony.
I'm going to wave goodbye and I know it will be the goodbye to everything i've come to love I'll give my hugs and last words of anything with real meaning to those people I'll never see again I don't talk to my friends from my old school Somehow I know I'll lose even the best of friends and much treasured aquaintances I'll hug hard One hug for the rest of time I'm sorry to see everyone go I'm sorry I didn't connect with everyone better I'm sorry I was a fool I'm sorry.
I'm tired. I'm depressed. I just want to clear my head. I want to goto sleep. This is it.
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." --Holden Caulfield The Catcher In The Rye
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