| Current mood: |  thoughtful |
| Current music: | Stratovarius - Forever |
Friends, friends, where are thee?
It's getting really lonely, even as there is only couple days, befor school starts again and I get to see my pals once again.
It is just that when I get out of that place. All my former pals and buddys just dissapear, it's always like that. Some stay in contact with me for, let say, year or that. Then they are drawn to another groups, alcohol some might even start taking drugs, don't know, don't hear from them. If I had not starten the four comment-waste-of-time-war-call-whatever-you-want-things, I wouldn't hear anythin from Phamby either, like I would hear anything from her now either. Call them a bunch of friends.
For this reason I found myself linked on Raistlin, from Wheel of Time, whose face is decorating my juornal. He wasn't just mean old bastard, who shout for power, no matter the prize. One fragment from one Margaret's, the true creator of Raistlin, book has perhaps foreverly been burned in to my mind, it of course might go a bit different in the books, especially in non-finnish ones. Wont even use the dot-thingys, for the fear of mockery.
...When the soldiers were wounded in battle, Raistlin helped them with herbs and salves. He healed the wounded, eased the pain of the dying and restlessly made medicine for them. And the soldiers grew the trust him, because when they looked in his eyes, they saw that he truly understood the pain they had. But when the soldiers were healed, they noticed that they liked Raistlin as less as they had befor, they were just ready to punch everyone who dared to say it...
It wasn't even nearly as that, but it lets you to get the image.
For me... I'm no healer, I know no herbs, nor salves. But for me it has been the joy, that the mere appearance of me leaves behind me, the jokes I tell, stand-up comedy. I'm quite liked, in school, there is only some, who don't know my name, even less of those, who don't know me by some way. The jokes I tell gives laughter and joy and when someone has bad time, he only needs to look at me and he sees, how things could be worse and thus feels the hope. But unlike Raistlin, who had Caramon, a simple counter-part of himself to fulfill the lacks he had, I have none. You cant even begin to think how annoying that is...
Still there are many thoughts to give, but I lack the words to tell it...
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