| Current mood: | [x shoot me quickly x] |
| Current music: | [x Handguns and Second Chances- Senses Fail x] |
[x please tell me im not wanted x]
Today sucked. Tell me something that isn't typical. I woke up. Half day at school. Went home. Ate food. My dad forced me out. Joy. Said I had to be happy. Screw him. His friend didn't die. Whatever. I came home. Sat by my lonsesome. Put my stereo on and Senses Fail came on. The EP. With the song 'Steven' on it. I was hysterical. Whatever. Then....I just sat tehre and stared at my wall.
I was in this weird thing...like a different state of mind. Surreal almost. I felt like I was watching myself from the outside. I wish I were. Just another tragic storybook, my life is. I wish I could be...I'm lie that kid Jay in the book Jay's Journal. Start happy at the beginning and then sucked deeper in through a vortex that drags me to the very bottom. And then my life starts falling apart. I get into a fourth month long abusive relaitonship. Get the shit beat out of me, physically and emotionally. Brandon shoots Andrew. Andrew shoots Brandon. My best friend dies for me. Friends commit suicide. I attempt suicide. No one except a few know. I drink some. Get stoned. Do stupid shit in the back of Kent's car. Get pregnant. Have a miscarriage. See a friend hang herself. See a friend shot himself. Have him die in my arms. Kent kils himself. Further I go....I might have HIV. Something happens to Ricky and no one can know about him. Kyle comes over. Shoots himself in the mouth. How tragic. Another abusive relationship. Woop de fucking woo. I swallow pills. Vomit them up. Swallow s'more. Vomit them up too. Ricky has sex with Chloe. Chloe is a wreck. Ricky leaves. I sit here now. Oh, the joy of me. Shoot me quickly.
xxzzxxolliexxzzxx
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To take...this handgun to my eyes
And watch...my cells start to rise
My flesh starts to break
As the bullet enters like a snake
Through one side of my head
And out the other one
And I'm..to scared...to live....tonight..
And I'm..to bare to shed..my plight
Now I'm to scared to live tonight
Too bare too shed my plight
(Please tell me I'm not wanted)
The bullet break right though my flesh
A catharsis of my own distress
(Please tell me I'm not wanted)
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