if it means anything, i think you're fucking awesome at what you do. you did deserve first chair, and don't let carpal tunnel and a shitty orchestra teacher make you lose faith in what you do. first off, even if you do have carpal tunnel, it's not as bad as it's made out to be, take it from someone who had it. you're a strong babooshka, i know you can pull through.
you kick ass at everything you do, and if you can't see that...
well, i'll just pry your eyes open somehow.