| Current mood: | worthless |
| Current music: | dashboard |
death is beautiful
i feel like nothin again. i hate y this always happens to me. am i that horrible of a person to deserve to be hurt time n time again? i give my heart to those who i feel would cherish them, but i end up gettin my broken heart thrown back in my face. i dont feel as if im worth it to ne1 nemore. which makes dyin seem so much better than livin.i dont want to go thru life gettin hurt repeatedly, its not the life i wish to have. i understand u need to get hurt to grow, but was there ever a time i wasnt hurt by some1 i cared about?... no. ive been thinkin n i realized that he just deosnt care about me nemore, n he doesnt love me nemore. i cried a few times durin the movie last nite, n i think i heard v tellin jay n aj that i was cryin. did it/ would it affect u in neway? obviously not. u said ud never hurt me, ud never make me cry. n u broke ur promise more than once. n it doesnt seem fair. i do so much for u, even without bein asked. b/c i love u n i care about u n i think u deserve everythin u want. which im startin to think isnt me nemore. i would kill myself before i EVER let a tear roll down ur face.
the words u say to me, i would never be able to say to u even if i was jokin. "this is wat im thinkin of u rite now- fuk u"( written on the back window). a slap in the face n a few punches of the thigh. y? wen im sittin there not sayin a word, on the verge of tears do u find that necessary. i feel like nothin. u make me feel like im worthless, u makin me feel that way makes me realize id be better off rottin away 6 feet under. u dont love me, u dont care about me, n i dont even kno if u ever did. i give u my everythin, id do nethin for u. n im obviously still doin somethin wrong. i dont kno wat to do nemore but cry, n thats wat id least like to do.i am a failure at everythin i do, especially love.
(Read comments)
|
