|Current mood:|| confused|
|Current music:||a decade under the influence -tbs|
+my love for u is everlastin+
havent updated in awhile.. aj came back from st.martin :). hung out with him a lot.started gettin tips in camp, from 3 kids so far 1 more at the end of this week. i babysat for my lexi n her brother zack on sat. shes 2 1/2 n shes so cute. i got $50. the aj bday present fund is increasin :) since he is gonna buy my $110 skateboard, it is sexy :). i want it now heh.
things dont seem to be goin rite. i thought it couldnt get better, but hes makin me realize that we kinda r driftin, which seems hard since we talk all the time n r almost always together. he came over on thurs. n i thought everything was fine. but sat. wen i got home from babysittin we had a 'talk', which basically made me feel like shit, no offense. just not the perfect topic of conversation to end my night :-\. hes in w.w now, until tom. niteish. hes makin me feel like wen we do see eachother its not goin be the same, just a bunch of awkward silences n stuff. :(. idk. i care, but im not obsessin myself over it. i just dont think that it seems possible to me for us to be fallin apart. i kno(n hope) that everythin will be the way it was. idk. i dont kno wat i would do without him, but its not hittin me that this could be over. i guess i dont think its that big of a deal for it to be. idk wat to think nemore. he doesnt think i care or that i love him. n i love him more than nethin n i would give up nethin n everythin for him. i would risk my life in a heartbeat for him. i just wish he would realize that. :'(