|Current music:||Wizard of tha Hood by Violent J|
i cant believe it....
a few weeks ago i was inspired which hasnt happened in a long time. I was inspired in tha last place i expected, school. i was inspired in all sorts of ways, and in every way. by teachers that are truly tha best. i talk to this one teacher, he is helping me with all sorts of stuff. he isnt tha only teacher that inspired me, theres like 5 more. anyway, i was inspired and i felt great and i havent felt that way in sooo very long. so everything was good. then tha darkness/depression started to come back a lil'. i trust this guy soo much, hes a good listener and he makes me feel pretty good but today i told him something, very serious. i was talkin to my friend yeasterday on tha phone about this serious topic. so today i told him, because i told her not to do it but i do it myself, he told me that he doesnt have much experience in tha topic so he took me to a counceler, sitting with me, he told her and now shes up my ass and wont let it go. he left cause he had a class and i stayed but only for like 15 min more. then i left and i was afraid she was gonna call home. ARG! witch. anyway so after his class i went up to him in tears (me crying like a bitch) and i told him that i trusted him and he promised me that i wouldnt regret telling him. but i kinda did...so i had a terrible, almost worst day of my misery. so now shes up my ass.but we made a deal and it's ok now but goddamn it. i was in tears and i was talkin to him explaining that i trusted him and i felt a lil' betrayed. see, i have a problem, i dont open up to ppl, at al. i have been bottleing up everyone of my emotions since like 4th grade. so it's hard for me to open up to ppl, it's like a fear. because i dont think ppl would understand. so we talked and he told me that he really cares about what happens to me. and i told him that it would take some time before all trust is restored. i fuckin trusted him. i felt inspired by teachers, this was a great feeling i HAD. i relized that school (yea sometimes it blows and taking tests and doin homework suck) but school is a place where we can go to become GREAT THINKERS!!! intellectuals, together. i love hagin out with teachers. they are my 2nd most favorite kind of ppl ( my first favorite kind of ppl are JUGGALOS) but teachers are awesome. i care about doin good in school. for this teacher, i wish i could give this teacher diamonds raining, i'm soo grateful for what he has helped me with (except for today) but it's all good...he's still my favorite. point is we should talk to teachers cause they all truly inspire.