| Current mood: |  aggravated |
| Current music: | Yeah yeah yeahs - Miles away |
May demons fly up your ass
Hmm.... no... no I don't care. In the secret thoughts of my mind I pictured her flawless, lovely, beautiful.... but that was all just shit, an idealistic, and false illusion. I missed her so and thought.... oh god I'm so lonely without her...oh god i love her... oh god why'd i leave... oh god make her notice me once more.... oh god i need her, i just cannot live without her... oh god let me kiss her. I was in love with the way i drew her and painted her within my mind. Just like the first time i realized i really liked her at the mall, where i couldn't breath and my knees buckled, I realized I don't really like her when i saw her at school. When i saw her, every feeling i had during that tormented time of loving her was released and burned into ash. So i think i did unfortunatly lose a friend. If thats the case, then its her loss. I tried to keep the friendship, but prehaps the friendship was sucky to begin with. Yes, I would like to blame this on her. As we all know, my forgiving nature doesn't believe so... but for the moment... it is all so very much her fault and i would like to just beat her.
So prehaps the pressures of exam week just blows every little conflict out of the water. Indeed, I've never felt this mad before and never expressed it this way without crying and thinking myself pathetic for not having a friend or for losing someone dear to me. Gosh. You know, this is so stupid. What is wrong with people these days? Whatever. Everyone can just so fuck themselves. Just crumble every friendship and piss all over it. Count on no one and no one will let you down. For the moment it's so true. That was just the shittiest thing someone has ever done. People are so hateful and unrespectful and unkind. ... Assholes... people are assholes. selfish assholes. Whatever. Goodnight.
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