Still feeling it out
Today was a better day than the last two. I still haven't felt up to my old self concerning the relationship. I missed him more today than I did in the past two days, so at least I can say there was an improvement. I have to say though, that I had a nice surprise waiting for me when I finally did see him. He had bought me a box of chocolates and I could tell that he was really trying to make the night special. The fact that he failed miserably had some, but not a huge affect. Even though I'm told it's not the truth, I can't help but feel the reason the sex isn't going as well anymore is a result of me in some way, shape, or form. I didn't feel like I wanted to break up today, but I got extremely frustrated when after several very good attempts to get something going, we ended up doing nothing as usual. On the way out, I was told that "it's on for tomorrow". It's hard for me to believe it these days. Sad to say, but I was left tonight with the same feeling I had the other night. I was very distraught when things just couldn't go right and there was nothing I could do. I almost felt like crying. I talked to a friend about it, and she echoed what I had been saying. I should wait it out a little more and see how things roll.