|Current mood:|| crappy|
The obligatory first post
I had to start this journal today because I've had a rough day in my mind. I'm one of those people who like the idea of things and sometimes when I get it, I'm not as excited. I've been in this relationship of mine for about 8 months now. We've been up and down the whole time, and lately I've been the one doing most of the leg work. I feel these days as if we have kinda dropped off because the sex just isn't there. Now, I know some of you out there are saying "what's wrong with this kid? thinking a perfectly good relationship is bad because there is no sex." Well, I guess you could say that...but not if you were living it. It was a sudden change where he was always tired, had to work, or just doesn't even want to talk about it. Not that I'm super horny or anything, but I have needs that aren't being met and I don't know how to say it. For most of this relationship I've been told to keep certain things to myself but stay open, a contridiction in itself. My new stance is to just not say anything and not really care anymore. It's the smoothest way for me to go. It tears me up inside not to be able to say what i'm feeling, especially after breaking down the walls and changing how I was before. Before this, I wasn't as free with sharing my emotions. Now that I do, I just feel that they aren't welcome. I'm thinking I should have just stayed to way I was, because I was WAY happier then.