| Current mood: |  thoughtful |
Don't know what to say...
My life is so weird. When I give up on something, it seems to come back with such force it's almost enought to knock me out. I write off people not too often, but when I do usually they do something that could never come back from. I can name the TWO people I have written off in my life, and I can almost honestly say that neither could do just about anything to bring themselves back in their good graces. I think I should start this entry off by saying that I feel like a dog right now. These last couple of days and weeks, I have been in such a doldrum about my relationship that I was almost willing to wrie it off and find someone else. I can say that I'm really sad that my emotions led me to that, but I was feeling really unsatisfied. There is this philosophy that I TRY to live by, but it's really hard. I hate when I take things way to seriously, and I do that a lot lol. Looking back on my life, I could have had so much more fun if I wasn't always so serious. Dont get me wrong, I'm a very fun guy and I like to have fun. Unlike some other kids my age though, I like to look at the consequences too and make sure they are too heavy. I really love my boyfriend. There are times when I love my relationship, and then there are times when I hate it and everything it represents. I guess that's just the way that love works...I haven't ever really been in love with someone who also loves me, or at least appears to. I have a trust thing too, so it's hard sometimes me to seriously say that he does love me. Any person could look at one situation a million different ways and come up with a million different conclusions. I hope that I can try to look on the positive more and stick to my guns...because they are usually right ;-)
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