| Current mood: |  bored |
| Current music: | alkaline trio- sorry about that |
so hey its me
so ive never had a journal before. i dont think i will be very interesting...but hey its 2am and im bored.
its officially april vacation and damn did i need it. i dont think im doing much unless the road trip thats planned is going to happen. it was supposed to be me, sally, wes, mikey, and nick i think going to pennsylvania to see alkaline trio in concert. but nick and wes' parents arent very okay with it. i hope we can. road trips are awesome. especially to see alkaline trio! im seeing them next month in worchester but still.
i have plans to hang out with mikey tomorrow. hes a great guy. we have so much in common. and the other day he told me he loved me. it scared the hell out of me. im such a guy when it comes to relationships. commitment scares me shitless. but at the same time i want to be in love more than anything on earth. i had a little crush on mikey before he told me that, but the same thing happened that always happens when guys tell me they like me...i started to not like him as much. i dont know why i do that. the second i get what i thought i want...i realize that hey maybe i dont want that. im so screwed up. mikey is such a sweet guy and the last thing on earth i want to do is hurt him. i dont know what to do. i also dont want to screw up the group dynamics. intergroup dating never works. with the exception of sally and wes and nick and lauren. but they were together before the group formed or something.
so anyway...we had this love talk last sunday. it went something like this:
mikey: i love you
me: no you dont
i told him im not a lovable person and that having known me only about 2 months he certainly cant be in love with me. he asked what the time limit on love is. i didnt really have an answer for that one, having never been in love before.
::sigh::
i think im done with this first installment in my first online journal.
~rach
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