| Current mood: |  depressed |
swim
Saturday March 13th: The announcer spoke over the radio while the static went on, the tone of his voice normal since he was just doing his job. He told the news and i listened in... "body found by woman walking dog..." it trailed off as i searched for some song to bop to as i drove around town with the windows down. Not a care in the world.
Monday March 15th: It was roughly around 12:40 and i was pulled aside at the end of choir. I knew when he shut that door behind him the news wasnt pleasant. "...Steve....apparently....found....suicide....other day....sorry....sad....girl....heart...." he trailed off as i forced myself to hold everything in.
3:04pm - reality sets in. He's gone and he's never coming back. They said he was sad, he was in a fight with his girlfriend who broke up with him... he was heartbroken he was alone... he decided to end it all right there in the woods. He was never that attractive but he was such a wonderful boy.
I've cried for almost two whole hours today... i've cried for him, his family, friends, and for the fact that i have lost far too many people over this past year. Death has taken my loved ones away from me... the numbers are high... and im just afraid of who will be next.
I remember when i wanted to die... when i wanted to leave this reality... when i had the gun to my head... but i had someone right there with me all along and he helped me though... god i wish steve had that.
People don't understand... when you leave this world... people leave with you. People mourn for you... you hurt more people than all the pain and loneliness in yourself combined.
This year keeps getting worse.
I cant handle any more of this pain...
But tomorrow is another day.
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