| Current mood: |  envious |
| Current music: | island in the sun- weezer |
conversation with bryan:
triottopiccolo4: i hate being best friends with lucy
Iluvthecreek: y?
triottopiccolo4: cuz shes always doing thigns better than i am... or at least thats how i feel
Iluvthecreek: but u r 2 different people
triottopiccolo4: well... i know
triottopiccolo4: just lots of things like that, like if you jsut put me and her on a scale of betterness, shed be way higher than me
triottopiccolo4: and it makes me sad
triottopiccolo4: but it sucks
Iluvthecreek: ok well the you in that example doesnt deffenately make make sense but i get what ur saying
Iluvthecreek: its like an older sibling or a twin who every1 loves
triottopiccolo4: like i liked richard for TWO years
triottopiccolo4: YEA
triottopiccolo4: exactly
triottopiccolo4: so i liekd him for forever
triottopiccolo4: and then lucy moves here
triottopiccolo4: and guess who gets richard
triottopiccolo4: lucy
triottopiccolo4: although i wouldnt want to be in her situation
Iluvthecreek: yeah
triottopiccolo4: its the basic idea of the matter
Iluvthecreek: i get it
triottopiccolo4: and like, everyones like "lucys so pretty, lucys so smart, lucy can sing"
triottopiccolo4: blah blah
Iluvthecreek: yeah, like (i dont want to rub things in) but like a capella
Iluvthecreek: i think u should have got in
triottopiccolo4: no youre not
triottopiccolo4: thats a perfect example
triottopiccolo4: really?
Iluvthecreek: she kinda came and took ur place
Iluvthecreek: i really like ur voice
triottopiccolo4: :-) thanks that makes me really happy youre like the very first person to say that to me!!!
triottopiccolo4: :-D!!! thank you bryan!
triottopiccolo4: yea she definitely did i feel like im always in her shadow
triottopiccolo4: and it sucks
triottopiccolo4: a lot of butt
Iluvthecreek: yeah
Iluvthecreek: well
Iluvthecreek: u have a steve
triottopiccolo4: i know :-D
triottopiccolo4: but theres this wicked hot guy whos like, interested in her
Iluvthecreek: is he mad at rich?
triottopiccolo4: who i wouldve given anything to get with
Iluvthecreek: BUT HOT DOESNT MATTER MAN
triottopiccolo4: which makes me really mad
triottopiccolo4: well
triottopiccolo4: i know
triottopiccolo4: hes cool too
triottopiccolo4: lol
Iluvthecreek: its just because u guys r like... the prettiest girls ever and our grade of guys is ugly
Iluvthecreek: often nice, but ugly
triottopiccolo4: bryan you always make me feel so good
triottopiccolo4: dude why does everything good happen to lucy
triottopiccolo4: well
triottopiccolo4: not everything
Iluvthecreek: haha
Iluvthecreek: "y is she so perfect?"
triottopiccolo4: that is exactly whats running through my head
Iluvthecreek: thats y it was in quotes
triottopiccolo4: :-(
Iluvthecreek: im sorry
Iluvthecreek: shes not
triottopiccolo4: but she iiis!!!!
triottopiccolo4: and thats the bad thing
Iluvthecreek: but shes not
triottopiccolo4: i mean, people that dont know her as well as i do cant find one bad thing about her, she comes across as totally flawless
Iluvthecreek: yeah
triottopiccolo4: like
triottopiccolo4: can you
Iluvthecreek: i dont kno, i cant find that much wrong with ne1
Iluvthecreek: she has flaws
triottopiccolo4: lol
triottopiccolo4: ok
Iluvthecreek: like
Iluvthecreek: she could have ne1
Iluvthecreek: but she doesnt og for it
triottopiccolo4: yeaaaaaa she could
triottopiccolo4: I KNOW
triottopiccolo4: but it makes me mad ebcause she COULD
triottopiccolo4: and i couldnt
Iluvthecreek: um...
triottopiccolo4: and she doesnt understand how great it is
triottopiccolo4: lol
Iluvthecreek: theres other stuff
triottopiccolo4: like she doesnt get it when i say it that she should totally go for someone
triottopiccolo4: who cares who it is
Iluvthecreek: she doesnt kiss me enuff
triottopiccolo4: because theyd want her
triottopiccolo4: kiss you enough???
Iluvthecreek: im just kiddin
triottopiccolo4: hahaha
triottopiccolo4: no youre not you know you want it
Iluvthecreek: ok, weel
Iluvthecreek: this ocnvo is about making lucy look bad, not about how gourgous she is
triottopiccolo4: hahaha
triottopiccolo4: i dont want to make lucy look bad!!
Iluvthecreek: well
Iluvthecreek: ok make u looo better
Iluvthecreek: not tha u need it
Iluvthecreek: ur cool and ur daring and ur realisitic
Iluvthecreek: u get a lot of life most poepl dont
triottopiccolo4: dude
triottopiccolo4: you are an awesome person bryan
triottopiccolo4: and i feel like a stupid bitch, like one of those people who say all thsi stuff about themselves thats likie bad... jsut to get people to compliment them
triottopiccolo4: but thats not what im doing!!
Iluvthecreek: no
Iluvthecreek: cause usally thas MY job
triottopiccolo4: nooooo
triottopiccolo4: you dont do that
thank you bryan for that amazing boost of self confidence... i really need those once in a while.
dude...
im such a loser. i always feel like im "living in someone elses shadow". and i hate it. but now its lucy( for the 9999999999.9999124923412345 billionth time). i HATE being her best friend. i mean i love her and i would never trade her in for anything. and shes my soulmate. but still... its like are we too much alike? everything i want, she gets. she can do everything better than i can. well not everything. im sure i do SOME things better than her. but shes like... miss perfect. i liked ricahrd for TWO FUCKING YEARS and a year after she moves here, he likes her and theres a whole big drama about it. then i had an obsession with jameson. i never actually liked him, but i wanted him sooooo bad. (still do :P) i never even told anyone. NOW he wants to get with lucy. ive wanted to sing my entire life. its all i do... all i want. its what i want to do with the rest of my fucking life. then WHO tried out for a cappella. me and lucy among 25 other people. and who gets in?? lucy. nobody knew she could sing so everones coming up to me, o man can you believe lucy can sing!? shes so good!! blah blah blah lucys so terrific at singing. simon: "me and steven pissed ourselves when she started singing". thaaaanks simon. because you knew i could sing so well and youd never heard her before. i cried everytime i thought about it for the next two weeks. no lie, no exaggeration. and i am right now. because i hate feeling like im in her shadow. IM NOT. i know im not. but i feel like i am and i cant handle it. "lucy youre the prettiest girl in our grade" "lucy youre so gorgeous" "lucy i love your hair". dude... its all true. but couldnt they just lay off a little when theyre talking to the best friend that everyone compares her to? youd think theyd realize it would get me down. and it does. some people know, like bryan and jecca. i talked to bryan about it tonight. but simon is one of them that DEFINITELY doesnt realize that he goes on and on about lucy. and although steven knows... he hasnt known me for long enough to figure out when hes doing it. not that he does it often. i always wonder if lucy feels the same way. ill probably print out this entry and give it to her tomorrow. just so she knows how i feel. im like that... i dont want people to wonder what my feelings are. theyre just out there in the open. i know what ill do. ill write lucy a letter, and ill copy a lot of this into it. there we go :-D man. I FUCKING HATE THIS. why cant i have whatever i waaaaaaaant? :'( lol just kidding. by the way, i love steven. he makes me happy. you know what? if lucy tried out for the musical and gets a better part than me i think ill kill myself. no joke. that will completely crush me and i. will. die. but we find out what the musical is on sunday!!!! OMG I CANT FRICKEN WAIT!!!!!! YAY! its going to be sooo much fun this year. ACK. woohooo. yup. yummy. ok well now i have to go CALL lucy to do our biology homeowrk. the class that shes acing and im "d-ing". just to mention that.
love love love
rach
p.s. OH and another bad thing... my parents hate steven. and i dont know why. but he comes over like everyday.. and tongiht they were like "its too much rachel, steven comin over every night". RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!! i was so embarassed.... but whatever. screw it.
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