|Current mood:|| distressed|
|Current music:||wave goodbye- steadman|
duuuuude last night was insanely fun!! steven and sergio found a la bouche CD in leslies room, and they ran into dougs room and started playing it. all 15 of us piled into dougs like, 10 x 10 room and stared dancing. THEN simon started flashing the lights. everyone was grinding with everyone, it was sooo funny. muchos funos. :-D
earlier simon and lucy and steven were at my house and we were watching chicago. then stevens cell phone rang. guess who it was. yep. nice guess- betty. i hate what she does to him. apparently he called her on saturday night when he found out she was being admitted to the psychiatric ward at cooley dick. he left a message cuz she didnt pick up, and she called him back last night. man. he stayed out there for like 20 minute talking to her, and when he came back in he looked like he had been crying. CRYING. i hate it i hate it i hate it. i just dont know how to deal with thigns like that. mike didnt have some crazy ex girlfriend who was psycho. and i didnt see mike and the psycho ex everyday. but i do see steven and betty everyday. well.... i wont see betty anymore. apparently she asked him if he was trying to make her jealous with me. he said no, but what if he was? what if thats all i am to him. i feel like im jumping into this all too fast. my feelings are either extremely strong, or very mild. romantic feeligns that is. at least, thats what i used to think. because i jumped into thigns with mike so fast. i mean, we were saying the "i love yous" by the end of camp. which is ridiculous ebcause camp was 2 weeks long. and we only hooked up with like 5 days left. i cant interpret my feelings for steven because ive never had feelings like this before. i think im falling in love with him. and i dont like it because im scared. im scared because the last time i thought i was in love was when mike used me and controlled me. he was making me love him, and i dont know why i loved him. im falling in love with steven. slowly but surely i am. and im scared because i dont think he can love me back. he loved betty. and he says he REALLY loved her. and i believe him. you dont get over true love that fast.
stevens here now... were going to get chicken. to be continued...
love love love