| Current mood: | lost.. |
| Current music: | its been a Senses Fail kinda day.. |
..neverender..
well.. things today seemed ok at first, but then the night went shitty, weird, then ok i guess. Well.. i got a pretty late start to the day.. but thats ok because no classes today.. yay! So I did a little straightening of things at home. I finally got my car spotless clean.. finally.. I wish the water from the leak would dry finally though, so I can deoderize it and vacuum it before all that water make my car smell cause that would suck. At least its clean.. yay! Then I brought my car in for its oil change and a tranny diagnosis. I had to walk home after I dropped off the car cause it was going to take a little longer than I had hoped. The place was on 111 so yea.. it was quite the distance, but I managed to walk it in exactly an hour.. not bad for a little squirt. So I hung around for a while until I got the call that my car was all set. It turns out that Chris was wrong about the tranny.. it doesnt need as massive of a job as he was telling me.. which is good because it would have cost me a fortune. It turns out that my tranny just needs to be serviced and the cost is little.. so next Thursday I'll probably bring it back in again. My mom happened to be home when I was gonna walk back to pick up the car, so she ended up taking me.. that was good. I wouldnt have minded the walk again though.. today was a beautiful day.
So then all of that went ok.. and then the next part of the day just went to hell. Don't really want to talk about it much.. and I think the 'X' man is finally out of the picture. Don't know if thats good or bad.. whatever.
The weird thing of the night is that I received a phone call from Johnny.. wanna talk about random and unexpected?!?!?!. I don't know what to say. Well.. it was definately awkward.. I just dont know. He told me when we broke up that he would call me in a few days and just never called.. now its like months later and he just calls out of nowhere.. and I just dont know..
then the rest of the night pretty much just sucked from there.. getting yelled at by everyone you can think of for no reason.. I'm so confused.. what is wrong with me.. Well.. then I went for a drive to clear my head, and went by the water for a bit, and I wanted to just dive into the water and let the waves just take me away.. that'd be nice.. wouldn't it??? So then I went home, and mom sent me out to SNS to get some things for dinner that she forgot to pick up or whatever.. so I went with Meggles.. we ended up seeing Timmy Tim.. which felt good.. one because I havent seen him or even talked to him in the longest, and also because this time when he saw me he didnt just walk right pass me or avoid me.. he actually stopped and said hi.. so that was a nice change of pace from him.. it made me feel a bit ok.. because i felt like he hated me.. eh.. i still think that.. what am I saying.. and he probably does.. i'd hate me if I were him.. because I'm just a waste ya know? wait.. I hate me and I'm not him.. so that goes to show you.. he scared me because he was coming into the building as we were going out of the building but I didnt see him, because I was too busy watching Meg almost walk into something.. that was pretty hysterical.. I think thats the most I laughed all day (which was not actually a lot at all)..
Well.. I havent heard from Jenn today.. I called her and she said she was ok today, but she was with Mike talking to him.. so I hung up with her, because it is much more important for her to figure things out with him.. so..
that is that.. feeling like shit right now.. feeling worthless.. nothing new.. so I will leave you with that.. shitty I know.. but what did you expect from me..
I'm so lost. goodnight
**~so i guess this is where I lie, where the days are endless and the nights, they just dont belong~**
~Senses Fail~
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