Sitting here in the computer lab, not doing my work, as usual. I really hate interior design. I think this class is so totally pointless. "Then why'd you take it?" you ask? Well, mostly because I thought it would be a lot different than this, and a whole lot less work. I just really hope I can pass this class because if I don't then I do not graduate, and there is no way on this earth that I am having anything more to do with high school after June 10, 2004. After that, I am done and I am never looking back.
Right now I am at such a frustrating point in my life, and I don't know what to do. Well, in a way I do know what to do, but I guess I'm just being stubborn or something like that. I have so many changes that I'm going through and it's not easy to have to make so many decisions all at once and hope that all of them turn out for the best. I never know when I'm going to get in trouble for this or get yelled at for that. With my parents, I don't even have to do anything and they are reeming me out, and that puts even more stress on everything else in my life. When my Dad gets my report card this week, he's going to take my car away because I have an E in this class, Interior Design, although my brother has three E's and all he's going to get is having his video games taken away, which prolly won't last long anyhow. And even if it does, Jayson can just leave anytime and go play video games with his friends. Then my job...I'm not making any money right now, which really blows, and so yesterday Papa John's called my house because apparently I turned in an application there (which was at least six months to a year ago) and they are looking for drivers. So I have an interview up there today and I'm going to find out what kind of hours they are going to give me and what kind of pay and I just might even put it my two weeks notice if it all seems good enough. Last Saturday, I had fun, but a little too much and now I'm wondering if I'm going to start slipping into old habits, which aren't too good. Then with boys....well thats a topic that will never be completely figured out no matter what I do.
anticipation, it builds up inside me
confusion, it takes over my mind
decisions, they haunt me at night
peace, will it ever come?
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