|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Pieces - Sum 41|
I've been trying to concentrate...I swear I have. I have 3 midterms and a presentation between tomorrow and Friday and I cant keep my mind on my work. I dont want to sound like a whiny little girl that has nothing better to do then bitch about petty things, but this is my journal, so if I cant bitch about it here, where can I? I just wish for once in my life I had THAT connection, you know when you dont have to wonder about the other person, or question anything...you know that they are there if you need them, even if it just to say hi or that I miss you. That never happens to me...I never find them kind of guys. I always find the ones that no one understands, least of all me, and that just when you think progress has been made they do something that completely destroys it and your back at where you started...or maybe even worse off because now you know more and understand less. Not making any sense? thats OK...it makes sence in my head. I've made 3 attempts at writing an email to someone tonight...so far none of the attempts have been sucessfull. I know what i want to say but it just dont sound right in print...and I'm not calling them. Today wasnt too bad of a day...met Jubran this morning, went to classes, and then spent some time in the cafeteria with Ahmad and Fred. After I left the campus I did some business in the city and then came home. I should have called Chrissy tonight, its her birthday, but I'm just not in the mood to talk. I sent her a card before, so I will call her when the spring break starts next week. One week from today is Valentines Day. I love Valentines so much...guess I wish that I knew someone was getting me something, aside from the usual "family" stuff. Just for one day I want to be treated like a queen, I miss that feeling. I listened to Fred today talking about what he had gotten for Valentines for the girl he likes. All I could think of is, I wonder does she realize how lucky she is, to have someone putting so much time and thought into making the day special for her. I hope she does, some of us I dont think are going to be that lucky.