i am sad right now. i miss bud. i miss kris. i'm listening to delila right now. goddamn commercials.
why do i have to be the way i am. i fit in with everyone, yet i dont fit in with anyone. i feel so completely alone, although loads of people surround me. i can never find friends. they wil lbe my friend for a while, and then we just drift apart. and then yeah. it's a never-ending cycle. godfuckingdamnit why do i have to be this way.
fuck. my dad's an asshole. i hate him so much. i cant see kris tonight cuz the rents are leaving their door open tonight. fuck. i really wanna see him tonight, i havent seen him at all today and barely got to talk to him. fuck. i hate my parents.
jtjensen96: if i ever get a car
jtjensen96: then some time i might invite you to do something so you don't always have to do nothing
fuck. i'm so pissed. i hate my parents. why do i fucking have to get a dad who knows extra things about computers and tvs. fuck. i hate you.
i have this thing where i cant have my door open at night when all the lights are off cuz i feel like everybody can watch me and i feel soooo uncomfortable. in my own room. and my dad wont let me shut it. fuck i hate you. omg why do i have to go to bed now and little sibs dont? fuck i hate you. ugh he thinks i am so not capable of so many things. it really pisses me off. he doesnt think i can do anything. gah i hate my dad. he is so totally a step-dad to me. oh and sometimes he touches me. he says they're "love taps" or whatever the fuck he wants to call them. i dont like it at all when he does that, and i've told him. but he doesnt care, he does it anyway. when i told him, he just went off on me. like he can do whatever he wants. it's like fuck, just rape me why dont you. and it bothers me soo much when i see my parents kissing or (especially) hear them. and also when i see him smack her ass. i'm like okay no. grr he bothers me soo bad. i swear, he's not my biological father.
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