remembering
i wouldn't want to 'eternal sunshine' anything away. but sometimes i wish that memory was like g-mail. i could delete the things that are better off being not there, that distract me, that take up space. memory spam.
went through my phone today and deleted old text messages so i wouldn't have a number floating in there as a temptation. but the problem with deleting is that i have to look at the messages first, at least snippets of them. so i have to be reminded about things fresh before i can get rid of it off of the phone's memory.
i can't get a handle on time. i really can't. on how people change... on how i change. on how people say things that were true at the time and then they aren't anymore. how reality changes, but part of it stays, in the head at least.
i'm all smeared over time and space. i need to collect - recollect/remember - what has been dismembered. i need to be present and in the present and not strung out over the past. i thought i had been better about doing that, but, well. some things pack more of a punch than anticipated.
(Read comments)
|
