|Current music:||Coldplay // Yellow|
Prescient dreams or figments of a vivid imagination?
I've finally found time to freely express my thoughts. And now that I have said time in my grasp, I can't think of the right words. Sounds silly, right? It just seems as though everyone around me is so distant now; as though I'm watching the world I live in through a third-person, almost omniscient point of view. I really don't want to sound like a juvenile about this, but I feel like I'm being overlooked somehow... that I've lost those whom I could usually turn to.
Oh, but I wouldn't want to turn to the professor this time. I feel so weak having to depend on him. I feel so... insignificant in his presence now, anyway. Almost as though my lapse in abilities has rendered me useless.
Besides, I crave emotional comfort, not advice; I crave unconditional understanding and empathy rather than experienced patronage. As laughable as this sounds, I need a shoulder to cry on.
I miss spending time with Scott. As innocent as those times were, I was happy then. Well, I'm not saying I'm depressed now. But, my days seemed so much more complete after even the silliest of chats with him. When he took time out of his own busy schedule to be with me, I secretly felt this high degree of pride. But, I suppose times change, as people do. But, God. I miss the naivety of it all.
These dreams I've been plagued with lately. Unexplainable, really. Irrelevant.
It was wonderful talking with Logan. Sincerely peaceful to know that, despite his brusque appearance, his mind and my own are on the same wavelength in most aspects. But, once again, he's gone.
Ah well. Time to step back to reality.