Nate Mathers (theothermathers) wrote, @ 2003-09-09 18:20:00

Current mood:	numb
Current music:	Metallica - Nothing else Matters

What did you Expect?


I have jumped through my last hoop.
I am done with all the games an' playin'.
I'm just fuckin' messin' around.
Ya'll don't like it?
I don't care no more.

I don't think I ever 'fit' in anywhere before. Growin' up I was the skinny poor kid, then suddenly I'm Eninem's brother. I'm suddenly surrounded with his friends, his lifestyle. But I'm thankful everyday for it cause at least I'm not where I was. I'm least I'm not the skinny little poor kid anymore. And I'm alright giving up my childhood for where I am now. I'm cool with it. So if you be thinking I'm going to fill this fuckin' box with how upset I am because I wasn't able to be a kid... fuck forget it. Ain't going to happen.

Ever since I got here I been taking flack. An' I've been doin' nothing but playin' nice and trying ta make everyone happy. I'd be the funny guy and be careful not to step on anyone's toes. I did that, I played that fuckin' game and I hate myself for it. That ain't me. I just ain't me. I went against everything I believe in to please some people. An' I'm fuckin' done with that. Yeah... I'm Marshall Mather's seventeen year old brother. That's who I fuckin' am. I go out and party, drink and get high. I curse and swear, rap and do all the things that every other fuckin' seventeen year old does. An' ya'll don't like it? Then take yer business elsewhere. Ya don't got to read what I got to say. You don't have to agree with my every opinion... just as I don't have to believe in yours. But I ain't changing for no one... so you either get used to it or look away.

I learned long time ago that sometimes life just ain't fair.
It's a bitch but ya deal an' move on.

Everyday we miss out on opportunities. We decide to go left when if we'd had gone right there would have been a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Staying home one night and that very night Miss. Right happens to be at the local club. Everyday people are missing out on things. An' I've missed out on a lot of things. There were times when I acted one way... when I should have acted another. I missed out on a great thing because of life's little choices. But ya move on. Ya pick up your head and you move right along. I'm done tryin' to prove myself. I'm done tryin' ta make everyone think I'm a'ight. An' that means you too Mr. Aussie. I'm not scared of you, I never was. But you can call off all your little hippie friends. You don't like me? You don't like what I got to say? Don't read, don't talk to me. It's that fuckin' easy.

Ya either like me or ya don't. I'm proud of who I am.
And I'm proud of where I've gotten myself.

Maybe it's time people got to know the 'real' me.

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