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Nate Mathers (theothermathers) wrote,
@ 2003-07-20 17:00:00
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    Current mood: angry
    Current music:Snoop Dogg - Go Away

    I'm not Ashamed of Who I Am.
    Alright kiddies it's time to cover your eyes cause I'm about to get vocal. I thought I could just sit back and let it all slide but I realized that just isn't who I am. I've never been ashamed of who I am an' it sure as shit ain't goin' to start now. I'm not going to just take the fact that my business has not only been thrown in my face but leaked out for the entire world to see. That ain't cool. Like my brother, I've always been a private person. Any shit that I need to deal with, any problems that come my way I like to deal with privately cause the whole world don't need to know all the details of my life. I've already had to deal with people wantin' to know everything 'bout me because of who my brother is an' I've done a hell of a job keepin' my problems personal.

    But then you suddenly get a few drinks under your belt an' suddenly you think you know it all. Well you don't. An' if you hadn't waved my business around like a red fuckin' flag for all to see I wouldn't have an issue with you. But you did, without even givin' a shit about what it means to me. What part of 'private' do you not understand? You want to play ball with me? Well I'm more than ready man. You want to think you know me? Go ahead and try. You don't know shit. Just cause you're sufferin' you think it's alright to try and drag others down with you? I ain't goin' down like that. Don't be talkin' 'bout things you know nothing about cause it makes you feel better about your own situation. Yes, I'm seventeen fuckin' years old. I'm fully aware of how old I am an' you don't need to be remindin' me. An' yes I understand the complexity of the situation so you don't need to be bringin' that up either. In fact you don't need to bring any of it up cause it ain't your concern. Focus on your own problems and leave mine alone. I'm warning you, don't wave my life in front of others cause you don't want to make it personal. I did everything I could to keep her protected an' safe from pryin' eyes an' in a matter of moments you destoryed it all. My age does not make me a kid. Age ain't got nothin' to do with what I know an' what I feel. I know how this world is supposed to work... but I've never played by the rules so why do you think I'm going to start now? You want to protect her? You care about her? I don't think I believe you. If you did you wouldn't have made somethin' private, very public. Did you ever think of the backlash she might get? Didn't think so.

    So here's a toast... Fuck you an' the horse you rode in on. Have another drink why don't ya?

    There ain't a soul out there that's going to tell me what I can or can't do. Soon as someone starts that shit my first reaction is to push back. There are a few rules that I live by, one of them bein' that what happens between two people should stay between them. Unless one decides to spill it's of no concern to anyone else. Nothing pisses me off more than people tellin' me I'm just a kid that don't know nothin'. I know a lot more than people give me credit for. I know that life sucks sometimes and it's not fair. I know that it can be rough and you can't choose the road that you've been put on. I didn't have a great life til I moved in with my brother an' even then it's sometimes not easy. I've got more life experience under my belt than a lot of people. So you can seriously take your advice an' cram it. Until you know me you ain't got the right to be givin' me so called 'advice.' I need to grow up? Look at yourself! You can't even get control of your own life never mind anyone else's!

    You want to play?

    Game on.

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