| Current mood: |  predatory |
| Current music: | "Sir Duke" - Stevie Wonder |
Post-Graduation Plans
Well, one final down, three to go. Today's final was my Translation final, and predictably, I did very well on the Borges section, and mediocre on the other three. My other three finals are next week, and two of them are papers. I'm not sure whether that is a blessing or a curse.
Hannah asked me yesterday what I was going to do after graduating this year. As I am sure, by now, that I will not go to the law school route until 2005, due to personal and financial problems, I told Hannah that this fall, I'd be living in a box. Not in New York, though - that'd probably be the worst place to live in a box, so I'd be going back to San Diego.
Living in a box blows, however - I can't speak from personal experience, but I have a lot of proof that would most positively prove said fact. So, I think I have a plan for how I could support myself in the interim before I entered law school that would be more lucrative and beneficial to my well-being than taking up residence in a cardboard container.
As many of you no doubt know, most celebrities are idiotic, vapid, empty people who are willing to pay ludicrous amounts of money to find some semblance of meaning in their lives. Therefore, they invest those ludicrous amounts of money in all kinds of mystical quests that they believe will lead them to the meaning of life. Studying the Kabbalah with hack kabbalists ( meimad points out that no real kabbalist would fraternize with Madonna), practicing limb-twisting forms of ancient Assyranskritinian Yoga, taking pilgrimages to Bumblefuck, Tibet. I plan to tap this gullible market.
Unfortunately, the Kabbalah's been done before, Eastern philosophy's been played by celebrities to Nepal and back. So, what could I possibly do?
The answer I came to was quite simple: Albigensian mysticism.
Convincing celebrities to eschew worldly pleasures. That means no food, no sex... no acting? They'd stop reproducing, stop making shitty movies, and instead go into remote Italian grottos to meditate. Meanwhile, I'd charge $2500 per session to tell them every week that this is the way to real enlightenment. *evil laugh* Suckers. Ah, the possibilities.
It's so crazy, it just might work.
Otherwise, you can reach me next fall in my box in Downtown San Diego.
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