|Current mood:||I don't know what my mood is.|
And there's no words that could make sorrows disappear.
I realied that my friends, my best friends, shouldn't get drunk around the people who I really like, like really care for, because I only end up getting hurt, and crying to sleep. I can honestly say that I don't miss crying myself to sleep. I don't need this. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. Just leave me alone to be miserable and lonely, and die alone. As long as I have my dog, my cat, my dad, and Tommy, I'll be fine. I don't need you to come here every night. I don't need you(all) to be there to wipe my tears, or to stroke my back when I puke, I can do it myself. I can make it in this lonely world alone. I can walk the long path to my death alone, I don't need anyone to love, I don't really deserve anyone, I guess. Why is it so hard for me to be happy?
You would think I would learn my lesson. You would think that I would just give up on him, but I can't. Every night its the same old thing, and every night I cry myself to sleep. Why can't I fucking learn that I'm never going to get happy, and be with someone that makes me happy all the time? Why can't I just have a different fucking life. I bet none of my friends know that I deal with all this, no one knows that I can't deal to be inside my skin, I want out.
I want my mom back.
What I write in here, is how I feel at that moment, don't take offense. Instead, open your mind and think, "Wow, I never knew" instead of getting mad. This isn't meant for the world to read, this thing isn't where I exploit my problems so that everyone can know. This is for ME, okay?