|Current mood:|| calm|
|Current music:||Under the sea - The Little Mermaid|
Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again...
Today, I was watching old home movies. Me as a baby, my parents 15 years younger, old animals that were once in my life, my house looking totally different from now.
I sit here and think..
When I was little, I thought things so differently. I wanted to be 'grown up' then and there. I used to see things so differently. Maybe different than any other kid I knew.
I used to think as you grew up, when you look in the mirror, you'd be a whole different person. I guess even as a small child, I wasn't too happy with my appearence. So I thought maybe as I grow up, I will change and look like a beautiful girl with long brown hair and blue eyes. I always wanted blue eyes.
I also thought that when you die you don't go to heaven or hell. You die. Then, your soul is overlooking your body lying there. It's under a red light. That was what I used to think what happened when you die.
I guess as you grow older and realize, you still wanna be a little kid again. I feel when I was little, I tried growing up too fast, and now that Im grown up, I wish I would go back to my childhood where nothing mattered.
Back then I didnt have to worry about boys or relationships. I didnt have to worry about family dying because back then I didnt really understand it all. Back then I didnt have to feel pain or heartache. I didnt have to feel desire or 'love'. All I had to do was worry about me, my parents, my little boo-boo's and my teddy bears. Now, I have so much more to worry about, and the worry will grow as I grow.
Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again. No worries, no heartache, no pain.