|Current mood:|| contemplative|
|Current music:||Billy Joel - Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway|
An Ending, A Beginning...
My ex-husband got married this weekend. Our divorce was less than a year done when he informed me this past July that he was marrying someone he met in person for the first time in person in April; they'd "met" on the internet in February - and she lived in Miami. First it was going to be Summer 2004, then New Year's Eve 2003, then November 8th. I wondered if she was pregnant...but he said no. Then why the rush? Not that I really give a shit, because I basically have nothing but distain for him at this point (and if we didn't have a child together, I wouldn't have anything to do with him...but with children, there is no true divorce...). I moved on with my life long ago. She's a nice girl, but I don't think she knows the full truth about my ex. Once a cheat, always a cheat... I wish her luck, because she's going to need it! I was thinking of them off on their little honeymoon cruise today...wanted to puke!
The kicker is, he was looking to get back together with me in January - I guess that was an appropriate time of the year for him to ask because a "cold day in Hell" might actually happen in January and maybe I'd agree to go out with him. After I "dissed him" (his words) and said no, he gave up and moved on. What a jerk - he threw it all away - me, our first daughter, our second daughter who was on the way, our family, our home, our life...everything! And now, he had nothing. No wonder he was looking to settle down so fast - so he'd have something that was his. What an idiot. He was too stupid to see the blessings he'd been given, too selfish to address anyone's needs but his own, and now those blessings he was given are gone to him forever.
But with the true finality of my marriage comes a beginning. I have found true love with a man who understands what partnership in a relationship means; a man who is true and sincere, who believes in making a promise and keeping it no matter what; a man who lives his life with his children in the forefront of his mind and whose decisions and actions reflect the love he has for them. A man who knows what committment means and isn't afraid of it. A man who I am someday going to marry. He loves me implicitly and loves my children as if they were his own, as I love his two children. Our lives have been traveling in similar patterns, but actually, we were living in two different worlds. But God and fate found a way to bring us together, and kept pushing us together when we didn't think our relationship would go anywhere because of the differences in our lives. Ironically, we met around the same time as my ex and his new wife, and in the same way - on the internet. But we have a lot at risk - not only our hearts, but our children's hearts too. My kids live with me, his live with him - we know that to blend the two families, we need time; not only for the kids sake, but ours as well. We know what we're feeling is real, but we want to make sure we do this the "right way"; only time will allow us to do that.