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r4in is f4llinq .. (sund4ym0rninq) wrote,
@ 2004-04-02 19:04:00
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    Current mood: aggravated
    Current music:something corporate

    hate.
    i hate everything.
    i hate my mom, i hate the things she does & says to me. i hate the fact that nothing i do is ever good enough. i hate knowing there are people talking about me behind my back. i hate not knowing whats going on. i hate my life. i hate the person i am
    i hate everything.

    once again, i feel like the whole world is passing me by ... staring as they go, leaving me behind, keeping me in my exile

    is there something wrong with me? something i didn't do quite right? is there something expected of me that everyone, but me, knows? what's the big secret?

    great.. in my fury i lost track of time. now it's dark. i hate spinning by nothing but the flood lights on the garage.
    championships tomorrow .. so nervous. i'm afraid for my show ... no one else's. the minute you start thinking about someone else's show is the same minute you stop thinking about yours.

    "when you walk out on that field, be thinking - 'all of you better be clapping 'cause johnstown has taken the field. this is our show & we're going to perform for you. we know we're champions, all we need is for the judges to tell us that...' " -- mr. jones, marching band championships, 2003.

    i like the rain. i like snow.
    i like knowing that there are certian people who won't ever leave me stranded. i like talking, communicating, expressing myself, being unique.

    i don't like dumb questions, especially if im fucking aggrivated.

    i like music. i like people, all kinds of people- emo, punk, rockers, drama queens, musicians, jocks, the "cool" kids, good kids, bad kids, idiots. i like people that like the types of things i do. i like being outside. i like the sun. i like warm weather, and the wind.

    i don't like being labeled, especially without reason. i don't like being ignored. i don't like making decisions. i don't like trying to be pretty.

    i like to daydream. i like the believe, to hope, to understand. i like drama, and scandal, and controversy. i like just about everything a normal human-being shouldn't. i like ice cream. i like large groups. i like small groups. i like going to friendly's. i like reese's anything. i like sprinkles, especially funny colored. i like sandaes, and soft serve. i like wendy's. i like being involved. i like to be known, to be someone.

    i don't like a lot of meat. i don't like many veggies.

    cucumbers are cool.
    tomatoes aren't.

    i like christmas lights. i like golf courses. i like the stars. i like astrology. i like superstions. i like nail polish, and lotion. i like bright colors, and dark colors. i like eyeliner. i like weird sented things, like lemons.

    i'm going.
    good fucking night.



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