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'- - » S a R a H (styl3sz) wrote,
@ 2005-09-09 15:03:00
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    Current mood:anxious
    Current music:Monica Misty Blu

    Remember When
    Okay Looking back on my friendship with michell kinda breaks my heart. We use to be so close there was nothing I didn't tell her. And Vise Versa So what she lied about everything there was to lie about,So what she made some of my friends not like me by telling them lies about me so what if people who we're supposedly my friends believed someone over me the TRUTH . So what if she had me doing thing's Trying to make me look bad....In the End the Over all Problem was Lying to ME <-- The Only Person who ever TrueLy Had her back. I sit here and realize If I knew the truth about it all why didn't I call her out sooner?. How come I let thing's get so far? Now we Don't even talk except for online and Once in a while on the phone E.i Birthday's Holidays..You Get The point. We use to practically live on the phone. I guess I got tired of her being the person everyone liked because she lied about who she was....Is that seLfish?...I hope Not I think Im pretty Open Minded But It's Hard to Tell. Just the other day I had Asked Alex <-My sisters Boyfriend...Why he didn't Like Randy <--Love Of my life..He gave me the best Responce .."Sarah you told me anyone who call's Me a CuuuuUnt Isn't Worth my time" And then asked me why I still Have feelings for him . Simply Put There are Almost Three Years Of my life with him I know Him like the back of my hand...We've Got everything in commen 9043-9042 I've Put So Much into making it work with him How could It all Become pointLess...? Is it tru All good thing's come to an End?..I love him no matter what he say's to me...Although each time we talk it's Like a knife cutting into an already deep wound. Im just not sure what to think anymore. If Life Is short then Why Is everyone MiserabLe...Pain Can't Last Forever Because there is no Forever right?...And if there is such thing as love...How do you know you've found it..Maybe It's Just chemistry all good relationship's start in friendship right? Maybe we're just so comfortabLe with our Selfs and friend's We begin to think theres something more there then there really is?...I can't Imagine Not being With Or talking to Randy But at the same time I can't Imagine Him Wanting to be with me forever Or even a few more years. How come everything is a question waiting to be answered by yet another question? God when we first got together I wanted him to love me soo bad...a Few months went by he never said it. a Big Fight a break up Or two later He tells me " Sarah you've got my heart Im not going anywhere " Now where are we ...On the virge of him writin me off as if I was never there Breakin my heart making me feel worthless Sometimes It's Hard because I'd like to inflict pain but never to my self those days Are over...Clearly What others say is " Find a new man "...What I say " I'll Be waiting for him when ever he decides to come back and there is nothing ...There is NO ONE out there who could ever replace him Or even come close to being on his level. Perhapes Im silly Childish Or blind too say these thing's But...It's My life" God now that I've Typed away my whole life story...For no one to be reading Im going to go sit with alex Smoke someeeeeeeeeee HerbaL RefrEsh Ment And ChiLL PayCe 1oo

    In My heart Forever U`ll be


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