"Hey friend. :)
I was thinking about your post, and without knowing Connie or her side of it, but trusting that you're fair in your descriptions (even with the emotional ones, it seems you offer enough details that I think you don't have any trouble imagining the other side of it), I'm wondering if the trouble is that it seems as if Connie's want isn't neccessarily for YOU, for everything you offer after, for your ongoing goals. It seems like it's a need of hers, some lack she feels which she's built you up to be the solution too. You're a challenge she must prove herself against. And that's a burden you know you can't carry, because the issue really starting from inside of her, can't be solved from something or someone outside. Maybe she just doesn't see this yet.
Girls make me impatient with this. They build their lives around finding and catching their man, but I don't think they put much thought into what happens after. The catching is the event, a goal to be reached, but what about after? The day by day, hour by hour? If that was their only goal (and lets be honest, many of them act like it is), then when they've reached it, what then? Is this man supposed to be their fulfillment? Their source of satisfaction and identity? These girls will be everything their men could possibly want, while the infatuation is still there. Sex whenever he wants, cuddles whenever he wants, afternoons with the boys without a peep, but what happens when she notices that that's all there is, her reward for all that effort, of constantly being 'on'. She expected more but now isn't really sure what specifically..that's when it all starts going downhill, I believe. They didn't really catch their men for the man he is, he was really just a validation of who she wanted to see herself as. A validation of her sexuality, her attractiveness, her personality. When familiarity takes away the challenge, there also goes the interest in the poor fool who may wonder what happened to the woman he married. The woman who adored him so much, thought he was the funniest person alive, the greatest lover in the world, king of her world. She no longer smiles in that way that lights him up and makes him feel like the manliest man in the room.
If she believes she's wasting her life on a friendship just because it may not turn in the direction she wants it to turn to, then it's only her fault for allowing her life to waste. But don't suffocate you with her needs and say things like that because that cheapens the moments you do enjoy in each other's company, it puts a price on which you didn't know you would be expected to pay. Of course you want to put some distance there, to move away. If she can so misconstrue your intentions and tell herself that spending time together means that inevitably you will end up together, you only feel it's right to move away and put things back in perspective and not lead her on.
But that's just my thinking, I could be overanylizing. Night!"
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