| Current mood: | blank |
| Current music: | Sam Phillips. Why isn't this woman more popular? "I Need Love" |
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes. Turn and face the strange...
Leave it to the cozy hour of 3 AM and the delirium of studying for an exam to evoke a desire to write. Unfortunately, I don't really have anything to say. It's been 5 months since my last entry, and I'm sure there are plenty of interesting stories to relate, but why would I want to do that? I'm a master of the inane. Leave it to real writers to write prose of substance.
So where are we now? We are indeed broke, and perhaps the hole in my pocket is responsible for my funk tonight. It wasn't exactly uplifting to go by the ATM and find $150 evaporated from my checking account. I can finally say for the first time in years that I am broke, truly broke. No credit. No cash. Tomorrow's paycheck is already committed to car insurance. So I have unfortunately sought the solace of the student loan. I guess I've gotten over the wound to my pride. I wanted to graduate and say proudly that I financed my education through work, grants, and scholarships. Well, fuck all that. To whom do I have to prove myself anyway? Yes, we're rationalizing, but hey, it's better than guilt. So now I'm waiting for that financial panacea to cast aside my burden, but of course I'm counting the days until I have check in hand.
And despite the presence of several beautiful, intelligent women in my life, I feel, well, alone. Dating can only give so much comfort after all. I'm glad to have different dating opportunities each weekend, but it's not enough to keep me company during long weeknights. Perhaps if I didn't make these nights so long, I might be a little more chipper. I am, after all, at the hours during which emotion flows without restraint. I'm a lot happier in my life as a whole than I let on to be. It's certainly not perfect, but nothing tends to be in this world.
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